Is Marie Kondo helpful to you? Is there a method that works for you?

The Marie Kondo Method works for a lot of people. Not for me. Everything sparks joy. Those maracas that D. brought me back from Mexico. The stocking repair kit that was my grandma's. The afghan that L. made me (as well as the mittens, and the scarf to match my coat) The boom box K. bought me before we got married.  

I don't actively use any of those. I haven't played percussion anywhere in many years. I don't wear silk stockings. I live in a place now where I don't use scarves, or mittens. The afghan sits on the couch with all the other afghans made by people, or by me, and we rarely need them. Who needs a boom box when we have a phone/computer? 

And yet, they spark joy. I doubt if any of my clothes spark joy. They are just body covers, and I am not immensely attached to any of them, except maybe the jeans that were L's, or the ones that got an ink stain on them when I visited when T. was born... or the dress I wore for The Summer of Weddings but haven't worn since... a couple of my dad's shirts. Some of my mom's clothes. 

BUT..... they are not doing anyone any good sitting in a box that I get them out and look at them once in awhile.

And books. Books are... well, like the ability to time travel!  Books are not just a rectangle of paper and leather or whatever the cover is made of. No, no... they are precious like gold and I have a lot of them.  I have let some go, then found myself buying them again because I wanted them. 

BUT.... who is reading them? I read some of them again and again. But what good is it when they are just sitting on a shelf with nobody actually using them?

I've watched enough of Hoarders (mainly to keep me in line, reminding me that for the grace of God go I) to know that I don't exactly have a healthy attitude where "stuff" is concerned. I want to keep it all.. I know that  Letting THINGS go is not letting go of the PERSON. Some of my attachments are silly, like the stained jeans, although I happen to be wearing them at the moment. I guess if I use them that's ok!! 

 Do we NEED family heirlooms?? All I do is look at that dresser, and say, yes, it was from the Civil War, it has been handed down for generations. Is it valuable? I don't know. Does it matter? I also have a desk from the Linton side of the family, that was also from the Civil War. My grandpa had it in his basement full of comic books, and I admired the desk and he said "that old thing?" and he gave it to me. I use it every day. It's just a plain hand made desk, but somehow it sparks joy in a way the fancier Cody Dresser does not.   It is in my garage, which has a poor record for protecting anything, things get ruined there. It is now at the bottom of a pile. At least it is on 2 x 4s and not directly on the floor. Still, I really want it out of there, but there is no where in the house to put it. 

And then the fabric. I want to keep it all. I have so much it is shameful. I need to let it go. But there were plans!!! And when I left the quilt store she gave me a bonus, $400. The catch is that it was $400 worth of fabric! 

BUT.... will it be USED? Do I have enough years left to finish the projects? No.

Sometimes I dream of moving into a small RV. HA. I'd have to rent a storage shed for my stuff. 

I keep thinking of how free I will feel when I am done de-hoarding. But it's such a slow process, and I don't know if I can let anyone help. 

Here's a little sample. A bag, a few fabric scraps. Easy peasy. Out. A card from one of my daughters in law. Another card from a different daughter in law. A list I made in January of the people I knew that died last year. There were eight on the list, and I know there were more. A Happy Thanksgiving card, and I never send them.  A card from my late sister in law. By now I'm crying, gratitude for my daughters in law, sorrow at losing my sister in law, who was on that list last year. Then I look at the fabric, and wonder what that was for, maybe I should keep it? It does have cool texture. I made a purse out of this stuff a few years ago and there is enough for more. A couple note pads, one wrinkled, but I smooth it out. 

So ten minutes go by and I have made NO actual decisions. Does everything spark joy? The cards from my loved ones  do. The card from my sister in law sparks memories. Joy is not the only criteria. Nor can it be the final. ALL fabric sparks joy. As does paint, ink, paper, yarn, embroidery floss, dolls, little owl figurines, nativity scenes. BOOKS. My mother in law's old cookbook. My mother's recipe box. 

I have a no kicking rule, so I follow it, and put the bag back in my "sorting" box. I go get some tea, and pick up my computer...

Recipe reminiscing.

Maybe it is because I am getting old. Or maybe it is because I am trying so hard to deal with STUFF. And it's HARD> to let things go. Some of it, I am just putting in a box, and am going to let someone else deal with it, namely my kids, after I am gone. Then they can let it go or keep it forever.

I mentioned in my little secret group about the problem I am having, and the first thing was someone wants a table. Crazy however is that is one thing I want to keep for sure! My plan was to let the big dining room table go and put the small one in its place. However, I told the person who asked that she could have it!! I'm still just trying to please everyone else? Sigh. Truth is, I have another little drop leaf table that would work there, and even that big mosaic one. Actually that would be gorgeous there.  So I think I will be fine with letting it go. 

The biggest problem with letting go is it drags in all the trauma emotions. I know that what I really need to do is deal with the trauma emotions, let them go. Let go of the feeling of such intense loss. This year there have been many who have passed on, the latest Jackie M and Joanne W. who I really let go of 20 years ago when I moved away from the dreamland. So instead of seeing all the loss, I see their gain and the unbelievable celebration in heaven. Whatever that looks like. Whatever is okay. I could go on for a long time thinking of those I have lost. I have to believe that I will see them again, join the party. 

The dreamland is hard to release. I thought I was going to live there until I died. Well, life happens, and I had to leave, and I am here, trying to make this as much as my dreamland as I can, but it doesn't have starry nights, and howling coyotes, and crickets in the night, and gorgeous big trees, and wild flowers in the spring..... but I still have my memories.

HIRAETH

In my cleaning out, I found Evelyn's recipe box. In my trying to fix better meals, I thought it might be fun to try some of her meals. Most of the box, however, is salads and desserts!! There are a few things to try though.

I also have my mom's box. I have dismantled my own, and stick things in notebooks on just look online. It is kind of sad, not passing down recipes like has been tradition for generations.

Another valuable thing I found and remembered was that people used to swap recipes with each other. And since my mom and hubby's mom were friends and had many friends in common, there are many familiar names in these cards. Fran, Audrey... and Irene, my friend Nancy's mom.

So there's Audrey's chicken casserole, and Irene's salsa, and Betty's instructions on freezing cukes. What a blessing these women had, to be friends for so many years. 

And I saw Aunt Oletha's and Ola's and some of the mothers of friends from grade school. Lots of jello recipes. It seems that growing up there were always jello salads at pot lucks. That pink gooey stuff, the strawberry pretzel salad, the green lime stuff with cottage cheese with pineapple. Main dish recipes using mushroom and tomato soups. 

That generation were mainly stay at home moms, but Evelyn worked outside the home as a nurse. She worked with some of the people she swapped recipes with, Fran, Laverne. My mom went back to work when I was in high school, but she worked at the Ice Company, and I doubt if any of the men swapped recipes! 

I made some onion pickles the other day, and ended up starting a whole conversation on facebook about them. I ended up sharing Grandma Butler's old German Dills, Uncle Tom's dills... well it was fun. Made me want to find some pickling cukes. Not super badly though. 

These aren't in order and I always screw stuff up when I try to rearrange them in a blog post, so if you are seriously trying to figure out what goes with what, have fun. 

Also in here is one that made me laugh, I haven't needed that particular remedy for many many years.

So maybe tomorrow I'll get some card making in. Seems like today was a Remembering Day. Leave me a message if you would like a clearer picture of anything, or the rest of the recipe if it isn't all there, or my dad's dills, or that lime and cottage cheese with pineapple recipe, or just about anything you can think of, really, between my mom's, and my two mothers in law, my sister in law, and my recipes. I try and I sometimes do a good job with dinner, other times I wait for "let's go out"... 

In the works!!

I figured out about my phone as a hotspot, so that will be good.

In the works. I have some turnabout stamps from Concord and 9th and I finally got the alignment guides so I can be more precise. My next post will be when I get the chance to actually do it. I'm excited. I also got a new stamp positioner because my other one is getting old and loose. AND I got the wreath builder kit from Gina K. 

The other in the works is our house is being painted. It's been needed for awhile. Hope that leads to more improvements.

So tomorrow I should have a lovely post with stamped goodness, some cards finished, and maybe even more. I am fighting with myself about some things, and maybe I'll get somewhere with something.

Yes I'm crazy bonkers.

blogging difficulty.....

Because we switched to a hotspot, I have limited access to the computer at the moment. I hope that will change soon, meantime, I won't be doing much on here for awhile.

Sad.

to the hills again...

What a lovely day we had today. We got up early and went to Folsom Lake.

It seems strange to me that I have never been there. We've been to Camanche, Pardee, Lake Amador, and other lakes in California, but for some reason never Folsom.

The first area we visited was Beal's Point. We hadn't been able to understand what Teo Torres had said on the news, so we decided on Beal's Point. 

It was dry and desolate, but beautiful in its own way. Hubby made a comment that we didn't have this kind of weeds but then I saw some filaree, and we have lots of that. It is such an interesting plant, with its tiny pink blooms and the "swords" that mean it is also called storkbill.

Storkbill aka filaree

While we were at Beal's Point, there was a woman who came up to me looking for the flowers. I told her I hadn't seen them yet, we were trying to find them ourselves. She was the one who told us it was called "Beeks Bight" and no wonder I hadn't remembered! 

So we hopped in the car and made our way to Beeks Bight. 

Oh it was so gorgeous!! There were many flowers, some I recognized and some I didn't. I did recognize the huge poison oak patches! At first I thought it was berries, but fortunately I didn't touch anything. HA!

There were lots of paths, and lots of unfortunately trampled flowers. This pictures just show the beautiful foothills.

Since it was pretty early, Beal's Point was pretty empty. It was a different story at Beek's Bight. The main lot was full, so we had to walk a ways from a second lot. Not far, but I can feel it. We need to do this more often. 

Lupine is so beautiful. There were lots of patches like this one. So we just wandered around and enjoyed the area. 

There were some little kids to flirt with, so that was a bonus. 

So here are a few more pictures. 

There are still lots of places to explore at Folsom. It opens at 6 am so I am thinking we are going to do some more adventuring here. It really is lovely getting some outside time in the not-city. That will be a lot of peaceful memories for awhile. 

I will lift up my eyes to the hills....

The hills comfort my soul. When I am there, I breathe easily, my heart rate slows... it is good, all is well. 

Except, of course, that I have to come home.

It doesn't seem to matter how long I have been away, the foothills are still HOME. I still long to be there. I still want to move there, even though I know that it really isn't possible or sensible. 

I don't have parents there any more to visit. I do have friends, but there's this pandemic... but it's getting safer, and hopefully we will get to whatever "normal" looks like. 

Today I saw cows, and had this urge to go hug one, but they aren't MY cows, they don't know me. There are no cows that know me LOL I am going to have to visit the dairy with the third graders LOL

It was a gorgeous day, very few clouds. We went to Jackson, and ended up at that "Italian Place" to have a late lunch, which they fixed us even though it was after lunch. We sat outside and watched the birds, tiny sparrows, and some hawks looking for lunch. There's more cars that pass there now than twenty years ago. It is still a lovely spot, a lovely place to accept a marriage proposal.

Sometimes we end up at Camanche, but today we stopped at Pardee. This is from the Observation Point, and it is a lovely view. It was a bit windy up there, which of course I love, and we just stood and watched the boaters as well as more birds. 

I am wanting to see butterflies. It's really rare these days. I've seen ONE. It was a painted lady, the kind that migrated through Lodi a couple years ago, the day my mother died. 

I am also wanting to plant some good butterfly bushes in the back yard. I have some flowers coming up, but I'm getting impatient, and I am thinking Lowe's would be a great place to get some snapdragons or maybe some calendulas... it always feels like, "it's too early to plant" to "why didn't I plant earlier" so quickly. Up the hill we didn't plant until around May, but here, that's really too late to start! 

As for crafting...  I ordered myself a  new stamping platform. I realized that I always try to cut corners and get the cheapest of everything. The first one I got is really good, but only for tiny things. So I ordered one that I can use for much bigger things. I have been wanting a wreath builder forever, but it wouldn't work in my tiny platform. I ordered one of them too.

I really have been getting frustrated. My guillotine trimmer has a bent arm, so you have to hold it just right to cut it straight. My rotary one needs a new blade, and you have to go over it several times. My small one cuts all wrong. I need to just toss it. I would like to have a small one so I could use it in the living room. So now I have a new platform coming, and next perhaps some kind of small trimmer....

And then the die cutter. My little cuttlebug is old, and wobbly. So maybe that's next. So then I think, do I really want to do this?? Am I going to keep making cards, journaling and such? I decided that my thinking about giving up is because of dumb trimmers and tiny platforms and wobbly die cutter.... then, if I had good equipment it would not be so frustrating. So. New platform, next maybe trimmer or die cut machine?? Or, figure out the best way to make the cuttlebug work, new "sandwiches" or shims....

So I'm thinking about a trip to the hills in late April, or maybe May. To call Patty and meet at the Iris Gardens...

Until then, I am just remembering, all those years, all the wild flowers, all the cows and goats I have hugged, and the chickens, Lady Cluck and Esmeralda and Blackie... the lovely scene when it is windy and the grasses on the hill are swaying. Even the days when it was snowing sideways and the thunder just about made me jump out of my skin when I was trying to get to the barn to feed the cows... "herding water" with my dad when it was pouring and we had to divert the water off the road so it wouldn't wash out the road... that time when Patty and I were "skating" on the reservoir in our boots when we were little and we were lucky we didn't fall in. Or when we were on horseback and the silly horse tried to go under a tree to brush us off... or when we played at the grinding rock and lined up rocks and pretended to grind acorns... and hearing about years later an archeologist said there was "evidence of habitation" there and never knowing if it was our "habitation" he was seeing. 

Time it was, and what a time it was, it was

A time of innocence, a time of confidences

Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph

Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you 

Simon and Garfunkel, Bookends.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S5V-Y53ad4

Wuzzup??

Kind of dry days. I've been cleaning out the dreaded Middle Bedroom, AKA my craft room/storage room. Getting into boxes and drawers, tossing things, sorting things, and getting emotional, uncomfortable but necessary to JUST GET IT DONE. I moved a dresser into the corner and put a cabinet on the top, which leaves me with a whole small table in the middle of the room to sort on and craft on. I know that it will be really good when I am done, and so it keeps me going. Some days I get through several boxes and other days I can't even get through one. 

The other day we took a drive to the country and that was wonderful. We ended up on the corner where my hubby proposed to me. There is now a little wonderful restaurant there and we had lunch. I knew the chef when he was a kid so that was fun to catch up.

So what have I been doing? Sorting out lots of card parts but not assembling. Putting away stamps and dies and reorganizing them. Getting lots of ideas. I watched a video series on a Card Bank, where you keep the parts of cards in one place for easy assembly. I realized I already have that! Just on a pretty small scale. It's a card file with card bases, frames, and background pieces. So I put it in a more accessible place, and added a few things to it. Go me!

My art has been rolodex cards. I did have a gel press session, that was fun, but nothing memorable from it. I then found an envelope of old embroidery transfers, and tossed them, but then thought, what would happen if I ironed them on to a gel press background?

I didn't take a picture, but here are the scraps...

I cut out a few pieces for Rolodex cards, and then I saw a bunch of teeny scraps and decided to glue them to a card. So that's the middle one. I really like it. Isn't that a cute bird? 

My pictures today are awful. I'll try again later.

The last one is the result of lots of questioning I've been doing. What is "proper". A question for the ages LOL it sounds goofy but you know, we focus on doing stuff "the right way" but who says what is the right way? 

So keep on asking those Important Questions. 
 

Interesting Oldness...

Something I absolutely never knew, they used to make greeting cards that were Congratulations for Getting your Tonsils taken out.  I mean, that was a very popular surgery when I was little,, nearly everyone had their tonsils out. 

Anyway, in my Putting Things Away I found a bag that had "Linda" on it three times, in my mother in law's handwriting. I remember seeing it, but I could see that it was full of greeting cards, and I just couldn't look in it. So it got put in a box, and today, I opened the box, and there was the bag, and today I felt like looking in it. 

My mother in law didn't save much of anything at all. She lived in the same house for 60 years, and the closets were not stuffed full, there were not a ton of boxes in the garage... she dealt with things.  

Unlike me.

Maybe that's why I was reluctant to look in the bag, what did she save for me?? But it was just cards. She knew I made them, so she saved them for me.

So it was fun to see what was in her greeting card collection. 

The first one is from 1948. I had never thought about a "Congratulations for Getting Your Tonsils Out" card but there it is. Seems a little bizarre to me. But in those days it was kind of a Rite of Passage I guess, you were Growing Up so now it's time to lose the tonsils. Glad they stopped that craziness. I have tons of allergies, and had many episodes of tonsillitis, and my adenoids are also gone. I STILL have allergies, and my poor little tonsil tag that grew back gets inflamed, so maybe there was a reason mine are gone. But it seems that for awhile it was all the rage to do that. 

A  birthday card from 1940. 

 

There were a few lovely floral cards, but no date, but the price was 25 cents so it was awhile ago. An Ideals Valentine book from 1963.  Ideals made many beautiful books, lot of photographs, and lots of poetry. I remember loving them as a child. I saved quite a few, although eventually I either let them go or cut some up (!!) for art projects. 

Then there were a couple cards that didn't exactly suit my mother in law's humor, but my hubby could have bought. I didn't know my father in law, maybe he had the same twisted humor... 

So there you are. I have another post coming for the art I've been doing but I always find this stuff interesting, a little picture of the past. I still can't imagine a Congratulations for Tonsil Removal. Kind of like Congratulations that Your Gall Bladder is Gone!

what should I title this blog post...

No, really, I have no idea. I've been so wonky these days I don't even know what day it is half the time. Can't blame the pandemic for everything though. Maybe it's odds and ends. Oh and the water heater went out today, and of course I need to do laundry badly, and I need a shower. Hubby hopefully fixed it today and hopefully tomorrow I can shower. In my experience, when hot water heaters start doing strangeness, they aren't too long for this world. This one is only six years old. Reminds me of Grandma Evelyn's that was from the sixties. I think it would have won the Oldest Hot Water Heater in history. We figured it was at least 55 years old. Do I sound old when I say "they don't make thinks like they used to"?? But it's TRUE. 

There's a box... Here I am trying to go through the box. It's basically just a collection of odd stuff. Here's some. Two combs. A package of bolts with one missing. A micron pen. A yellow colored pencil. A compass. A nail. A nail file. A pack of post it notes.  A different pen. A plastic bag. 

None seem tough to deal with, do they? The compass goes where? I don't know. Maybe in my desk? Those bolts ought to be in a tool box or something. Where? Those combs? Should I keep them? One of them might be from that hair cutting set. One yellow pencil, I can put it with the other colored pencils, and the micron and other pen with pens. Sounds simple enough for the next 5 minutes or so. However, most boxes contain more than this, and have harder decisions. I don't want to make decisions any more. So what, I say. This is YOUR STUFF. You want someone else to do it? They will just put it all in the garbage. 

Then there's this poor sad hanky with crocheted trim. It's old, it was a grandma's I suppose but I don't know that for sure, and it's falling apart. Maybe I can save the trim? For what? I don't know, on a doll dress? It's so pretty.

I ended up thanking the hanky for its service to I don't know who, or who made it, and thanked it for bringing me joy in the past, wadded it up and put it in the garbage. Somehow telling stuff goodbye helps. Sounds insane. I guess whatever works.

It was a beautiful hanky in its day. I'm sure it soothed many noses. That thought itself helped me let it go. Would I REALLY USE IT?? No. Will I REALLY cut off the trim and put it on a doll dress? NO. BYE BYE. THANK YOU. 

So if each little pile takes so long, when will I ever be done?? I watched an episode of Hoarders for motivation, all it did was give me nightmares LOL Last night I dreamt K was coming home from the hospital, and someone came in and took everything out of the house and brought in new furniture, and set up the hospital bed in the front bedroom, MY bedroom, and trashed my vintage furniture. I went out and crawled into the trash bin. 

Sigh. I see those shows and it isn't THAT bad, but still, I do still have trauma walls. It isn't easy taking them down, and letting myself be vulnerable. It isn't easy just putting things in the Out pile or trash, it feels like I am betraying myself somehow. Yes it sounds crazy, and it is...

But hey, there's some things coming together in my craft room. I cleaned out some spaces and most I just put back, but I switched the dresser that was in the middle of the room with a low table that this cabinet was on, and now the room looks 500x bigger. I have been filling garbage bags with Stuff and letting lots go. 

And now, the glues are together, the paints are together, etc. Less searching for stuff and hopefully less frustration when I am trying to find what I want to do what I want to do.

The sewing area is still the dining room table however. Sooner or later.... one can hope I live that long.

I did find a few things I forgot about. So I watched a couple Youtube videos today, but didn't get painty. I'm loving Natasha Foote these days along with my favorites Barbara Gray and Jennifer McGuire. 

What I ended up doing today was a surprise. I have been working on this for a long time, but haven't for a few months at least, maybe longer. I had the base done, and finally within the last few days have gotten all the applique pieces fastened on. So all I have left is a bit of embroidery and  finishing fastening stuff down, and I will hopefully finish in a few days. I do need some 1/8th inch black grosgrain ribbon, or something like that, but I'm thinking about just trying to embroider with satin stitch or something since I haven't found ribbon. I found some for 7.99 a reel, and some for 1.49 a reel with 7.00 shipping. Nothing on Amazon, besides to get free shipping I have to spend $25 and well what do I need? LOL Might take a masked trip to Hobby Lobby tomorrow, or the Dollar Tree, they have ribbon occasionally. I still need a shower, but maybe nobody will recognize me with a mask on... but that's when I always run into someone I know, LOL, when I'm a mess. 

Anyway here's a picture of the to be quilted wall hanging, so far. Hopefully the person it is for still likes lighthouses. LOL... the background is 2 inch squares of different florals, and the lighthouse etc are appliqued on the top. I'm doing raw edge applique, so it will get sewn down when I machine quilt it. I hope to be ready to work on the quilting tomorrow. The green I got for the last wall hanging will work well.

Oh and I found a couple Art cards  the other day...  I don't even remember when I did them. Haven't decided if I will give them away as Random Acts of Art or if I will add them to the rolodex.

And I got ALL THIS STUFF put away. I hate these boxes, I don't know why such oddness gets into them, other than I am too lazy to sort them and end up sweeping them into a box. Trying to stop doing that. But I still have a few more of them, so I'm having a party when I'm done. 

weed loving wonkiness.

I am always fascinated by plants, or, as hubby calls them, weeds. I did a lot of studying when I lived "up the hill" and for a long time after I moved here, I ignored the weeds, because hubby always mowed them down quickly. Now that we are not moving quite so quickly, I get to enjoy them for a bit.

This one, if I have identified it correctly, is a wild parsnip. I will not eat it, however, because I cannot positively identify it. Deb where are you?

Deb was a good friend of mine who introduced me to wild foraging. I was confident to eat what we found BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HER STUFF. But NEVER eat something unless you POSITIVELY know what it is. What you don't know can kill you. Not that I know this from personal experience. LOL

Nope, don't know what it is either, but I can enjoy its beautiful white puffy self.

I do wish I knew more. I don't have the confidence to really KNOW with many plants. I've been trying to get to know a few here and there, like Mallow last year, and I was confident enough to make some sore throat soothing tea this winter from the dried bits I saved last year.

This lovely is definitely edible, it is chickweed. The taste is a bit tart for me, but it's good in salads. This is one that Deb introduced me to all those years ago.

Others were shepherd's purse, a lovely little plant with heart shaped seed pods, that is kind of peppery and sharp, another good in salads.

I feel like I've written about this stuff before here. Oh well. That was then, and this is now...

Just the lovely weed patch in the front yard, that drives the neighbors crazy because it is Growing. I really need to live in the country. I wonder if I will ever get to go back. I don't like making the neighbors crazy, because they think we make the neighborhood look bad. 

It's pretty sad when these green beauties with occasional pink blossoms sticking up are considered ugly. I long for the times looking out the window and seeing dozens and dozens of wildflowers looking back at me. The huge variety of trees. Sometimes deer, or wild turkeys, or even adorable baby skunks. Lizards with blue bellies. Chickens glad to see me because they know I am there to feed them. Cows with their big liquid eyes waiting for the same thing. 

But there are gorgeous daffodils. There are a few tiny daisies coming up, and alyssum. The rosemary is full of bees. 

I think I need to find some garden places this year. I know the Congregational church has a community garden. I am wondering if my former boss still digs in the dirt there. There's a raised bed box in the back yard that needs filling and planting. I even have some seeds. February seems early, but everything's blooming and I am sneezing. In some ways it feels too late for planting, but I know that's not true. 

It has been hard. I find myself, yet again, just sitting. 

But I did get out for a bit and admired the "weeds" and thanked them for being persistent, and apologized for pulling them yet again, for the sake of a Neat and Tidy Yard, which pleases my hubby and my neighbors, but makes my heart a little sad. Yeah, I'm a bit wonky. I love me anyway.