a sad day today.

This morning when I turned on my computer, it went straight to a browser, even though it is supposed to be passworded... and in the search bar it said "obituaries placerville CA" so I clicked on it. Unfortunately there were two more obituaries of people who I knew and loved from there, Ruth and Pamela. I could hear Pamela's voice, saying, I'm fine, I'm with your mom,  you don't need to grieve for us, we can dance again. 

I don't know for sure, but apparently COVID went through the nursing facility. I don't know about Ruth or Pamela, their obits didn't say. But earlier in the week there were five people from there who had died from the virus. A few months ago, it went through our facilities here, and many died. 

Have to keep thinking, my friends who have died are celebrating in Heaven.   Because my parents' were blessed with many many friends and a lot of them became mine and they are Older than me shall we say I have to expect that they will die, especially with this virus going around. Ruth was 97, Pamela was 93. Good long lives. 

So rest in peace, and in celebration, all you who have gone before me... Charlie and Peg; Eino and John, Edith my mom's puzzle buddy, Bob and Ann (my friend Dorothy's husband and daughter) Erla, who brought laughter to all of us, Helga, mom's quiet neighbor; Joan H. who I helped with her camellias; Dennie, who was from China and gave my mom beautiful cards and vases of flowers when my dad died; Jane, Eva, and Gini who died earlier this month... Ruth and Pamela. That's a few of them. Many from the congregations I worked for over the years are gone too, many with COVID. No more suffering, no more dementia for some; looking for the positive. 

So if I can focus on their gain instead of my loss...  their healing instead of the ache in my heart. 

It is well, it is well, oh my soul...

another mini doily

I was so excited about this doily I forgot to take a picture before I put it on my quilted heart. I used a

smaller hook, and in some ways it was actually easier, since the thread seemed to go more smoothly and was much easier to work it. It only took me about ten minutes to do, so I think I will end up doing more. This is the third project with this fabric!! Originally it was a quilt made by my great grandma, well worn with stains and holes,  and a long time ago my mom made it into vests for her granddaughters, herself, and for me. However, the vests were all tiny and my daughter and I are not. I don't know if my niece got one, she's tiny so it would be wearable. Anyway, I decided to cut the three I have up and make these hearts, some to give away, and a couple for keepsakes for my daughter and I. I got  four hearts per vest! They are around 5 inches across.

I am pleased with how they turned out, I already gave one away,  Some have lavender in them, except the one for my daughter, who doesn't tolerate the smell of lavender which is sad since I love it so much. I just made hers unscented. So now I just have to embellish the rest, and these little doilies are perfect for the vintage fabric. 

I also cleared out two more bags of clothes, ten T shirts gone, as well as a bunch of hangers. I can't believe how many hangers I have. I should not be surprised, since they were Mom's, Evelyn's, and Loretta's as well as mine. I even found a wooden hanger from Hilton Hotels, which must have been from my uncle Alan. I come from a family of SAVERS. Not a bad thing, nobody had a trash house just full closets and lots of boxes. 

 

Little Mini Doily and related thoughts.

 

I've never made a mini doily. Or any doily for that matter. I have made crocheted doll clothes and wash cloths and such but never an actual doily. I am thinking I need a smaller hook for this. 

It is only about 2 inches across, and I think with a smaller hook it will be just right for my hearts. 

The other thing I made was little flowers. I need a smaller hook. I have tons of smaller hooks that were my grandma's, my great grandma's. my mom's, and my sister in law's. They are in a little plastic box.

Somewhere. 

Sigh.

I just ordered some red and cream thread but the rest is from  my sister in law's stash which I inherited. It's fun to do something different. I also got a ton of embroidery floss, pearl floss, metallic floss from her. I have already given away half of it, to a woman who works where my mom lived and does counted cross stitch. I still have way more than I could ever use. Hmm... I could crochet a little doily from pearl cotton. It would be pretty.

I have been tempted by some craft-of-the-month kits but I have (wisely) decided that I have enough stuff to keep me busy forever. 

a particularly tough week. (musings)

Sometimes I want to write things out but when they get to a certain level of bad I just don't. I started the week finding four more obituaries... and there's been more news watching here for some reason, and that's always depressing. I did fill my car with Out Pile stuff and took it to donate. A certain amount of this declutter effort is depressing, when I run into unfinished project after unfinished project. 

Then I was reminded of a comment when I gave one of my kids a quilt for their wedding, and he said FINALLY.... but reality is that quilt I told him I would do WHEN HE WAS IN COLLEGE never got done. It is all cut out, squares assembled.... and sitting in a box. 

So I am allowing myself a couple days of Unfinished Project grief, then I must decide if I am going to finish it, or if I can just let it go. There are so many shouldas wouldas couldas running around in here, it paralyzes me from doing anything. I just sit there and kick myself. NOT HELPFUL.

And creativity??? For some odd reason I felt like making teensy crocheted flowers. So I've made a few, and got some red crochet thread and "natural" to make a few mini doilies for my quilted hearts. 

I did a rolodex card, since I was doing Cat's Red page. 

It just seems ordinary and BLAH. But that's how I'm feeling. And it's not even a great picture of it. Sadly, I don't care. Maybe I will care later.

Card Making Prepping

I like to try to stay orderly but it doesn't come easy to me! I like to be able to just pop in my craft room (which is half STORAGE at the moment) and put together a card quickly. So here's what I do. I have white card stock pre made into card bases, either cut in half 5 1/2 by 8 or 4 1/4 x 11. Then I score them into either top folding or side folding, depending of course on what I do, and some I score into center folding cards. I have a container in my drawer that I put them in. Sometimes I used colored card stock to make bases, but usually I do that as I go if I want colored cards.

I have it marked on my score board so it is quick and easy. I don't always remember the measurements so I have to have reminders LOL

I have a large card file box where I keep my frames and technique pieces. 

"frame" category is 4 x 5  1/4. This leaves an 1/8 inch space around the edge for this size card. I either cut this out of plain colored stock (I use a lot of black for frames) and also cut technique pieces this size if I feel like it, and don't use a frame for them. I also cut printed paper this size for quick cards.

"inner" category is 3 3/4 x 5. This is usually for technique pieces, but I also cut a bunch of plain white this size for doing quick technique pieces. I also cut a few of plain colored card stock but I hardly ever end up using them! I also cut this size of patterned card stock if I think I would use it for a card. 

Sometimes I have odd size technique pieces, and I just stick them in the front of my file. For this one, I cut as I did it. 

The card file box I use is pretty huge. I got it at a thrift store, but it measures 5 1/2 tall by 9 inches wide and 5 1/2 inches deep. I also keep technique pieces that fit in there in the back uncut. 

I have another smaller one, not recipe box size but bigger that I keep my finished cards in. It would also work for this. Maybe better LOL... 

When I first started making cards, I didn't have a trimmer, or a cuttlebug, or many stamps, only a few stencils. When I look back on them I am amazed at the difference. Sometimes, I think it would be good to just do without all the gadgets, and do what pleases ME instead of trying to be so perfect.

http://lindyslovelies.blogspot.com/p/cards-cards-cards.html

some examples of technique pieces no frames

I can see I need to work on my tags. There are several tags, "cards" and "cards I made" and "hand made cards" if you want to see more. Meanwhile I will work on consolidating the tags LOL

Cat Hand's Book of Color, Red

Looking at everyone's pages, I just thought there was TOO MUCH RED. It's not my favorite color. I like it, especially with rainbows. I love all colors, but so much red... maybe it's so much any color, I guess I'll find out when I do more pages. I am really thinking of doing backgrounds light and then adding color. I keep thinking about these as calendar pages, and as i am doing them 8 1/2 x 11 they will fit into page protectors. 

 I found some white with red paper so that was my base. The quotation just jumped at me from the beginning, not sure where it came from, but red is often associated with passion. I had an agreement with myself , NO HEARTS. Everyone has hearts. I can't stand to be the same...

after I did this I added a little more doodles and undoubtedly will add more. But it's a start.  And now I need a January page. I'm thinking black and white with tiny touches of each color. 

A little break (musings)

A little break. Once in awhile I go through my "stash" and supplies to re-think what I want. Today I was going through stencils. I have collected lots of stencils, some from the dollar tree, some from thrift stores (I found a whole bag of them once!!) and collections from who knows where, like Hobby Lobby or Walmart or Michael's. One of my favorites is Stencil Girl, and I have some from them. 

I have made some of my own, and a few I got from some interesting notebooks that had stencil covers. I found a book with cardboard stencils, and used a few of them.  And some stencils that are Mendhi stencils, used for henna tattoos! Other things that you might not think of.... lace, even some interesting flyswatters.  I use them in card making, in gelli printing, in art journal pages, just doing it for fun with inks or paints or sprays. 

So there are two reasons I do this inventory, one to see if I can cull out some so others can get some use out of ones I don't use, and to remind myself of what I actually have so I will use them.  And to get myself in creative mode. Sometimes it's too much in creative mode because I stop what I am doing and create. Right now my creative surface is full of stuff and I need to clear it off before I can do anything. That's ok, it will keep me from getting too sidetracked.

I'm getting there. My next project is stickers, which I love for who knows what reason. I have a notebook of them, and a drawer of them. I like the notebook because you can flip through and see them, and they don't come off the background... but I think I have too many for that notebook, so I either need to not worry about it or cull my collection. 

I also found some projects I need to get finished. One thing at a time, right? It overwhelms me if I try to think of it all at once. I have also told myself that I am under no obligation for any of it. That helps, because sometimes when I think of things I was going to do... like a wall hanging for C or M or J (which all three had fabric gathered, but never finished) or all the card ideas I have but don't get to, or the supplies I buy or never use.... well it gets me into "I am such a failure" mode and that never helped anybody, it's just a deadly down spiral. 

So the goal for today was to get through one box of stuff. Instead, I went through my stencils. I did eventually get that box emptied. And culled out a small pile of stencils I never use and can't imagine using. So my Out pile is growing, but the thrift stores aren't open at the moment due to the pandemic, so can't donate. I'm going to see about making a few calls and see what I can find out. 

I've been going through my clothes, and I am making good progress letting go. The KonMari method is not particularly helpful to me, since it involves gathering each category into a pile and then putting them away and I don't have all that sorting room. But something that HAS been helpful is thanking whatever you are putting in the out pile. It sounds crazy, but when I talk to the item, thank it for serving me (or my mom, or dad, or whosever it was) and tell it to go bless someone else, it really helps me let it go. I have a gorgeous embroidered pillow (actually a LOT of them; I had talented aunts, mom, and mother in law) and picturing someone being delighted to have it instead of me grudgingly keeping it "because so and so made it" and I know MY kids don't want them... but by that letting it go and reminding me that someone else using it beats another 20 years in a box somewhere... well it helps me let stuff go. 

Things are memory triggers. But truthfully I don't need ALL the things my father made to remember my father. I handed out a lot of ceramics to my kids and cousins, but there are STILL MORE> and I just can't keep all. Telling them to go bless someone else helps. I still have a lot. And I have pictures of all that he ever made, since he did that. So I can look at the pictures, and smile.

Right now I have many of my wall hangings hanging up. I can't stand to let them go, but maybe I should. Blessing someone else is a good thing, not a bad thing. Some day, my kids will have to go through my stuff, and they will stand there saying, what the heck should I do with THIS?? And I should really let go of a LOT. 

Funny. I was thinking of a blouse that was my mom's. I remember thinking one time, that's going to be mine some day and then feeling guilty that I thought that. It was a really loose shirt jacket on her, so it was like a regular blouse on me...Well it's mine now, my mom is gone. And when I go to put it on, it is not a warm memory of my mom that greets me but a memory of my greedy thoughts. I need to let that bless someone who does not have that connection to it, or LET GO of my guilt. It does make me laugh. There is a LOT that is now mine that must be let go of. There's a packed garage out there of other folks' stuff, as well as my own. I would love to just hire a dumpster for much of it. 

So now I will go and find fifteen things to let go of. It won't take long. I'll be hugging coats and pillows, and thanking them for keeping my mom warm and comforting her. I can't wear them, she was 5 ft tall and 95 pounds, and I am..... larger than that. Of course that reminded me of my mother in law, also a 5 ft tall 95 pound person, who was trying to get me to try on some jackets of hers one day. They were size 8. I wear somewhere around a 12 or 14. I finally gave in and "tried" to get one one but of course it wouldn't fit. Her response? "I had no idea you were so fat". Thanks Grandma.

 But there's someone out there who needs this exact coat. And these pillows. And these hangers, and suitcases, and books.....

and I need a thrift store to be open somewhere.