how are you doing with the sad?

I bravely put up my bitty tree. The lights are too big, the snowflakes are too big. For tonight it will stay this way, but I don't like how the snowflakes look, or the lights. I think it is partly because I want everything to be different. 

I need to go paint something, and figure out how to turn the sad off. Thinking of my friend in the hospital tonight, wondering how he's doing, not knowing, and too late to ask tonight. Wrong time zone... haven't heard from him for a couple days, don't want to bug someone in the hospital but sure want to know. 

I lit a candle for him today, I know, I'm not Catholic, or Lutheran. But it's Advent.