November 12, 1918

November 12, 1918. Fairmont, Minnesota. WAR IS OVER the headlines screamed. Still in the middle of a pandemic.

My parents found this newspaper in my grandparents' things. Newspapers were a little different then. So and so was on vacation, someone else had company. "Calf show Delayed due to influenza. Set for December."

"The Boy Scouts... pulled turnips Saturday afternoon for Joe Mills, who is still in bed as the result of the flu. He is getting stronger, and we hope he will soon be around."

Joe Mills was my grandfather! My father was not even born yet at this time.

Family memories... not mine, not even my father's. I remembered when my parents decoupaged this piece. They got the frame from the thrift store and it had the most adorable cat and dogs playing tug of war. I was mad for awhile that they got rid of that print and replaced it with an old newspaper.

But this is history from Fairmont, Minnesota. It's been sitting out in the garage. What do I do with it?? But it's family history (but it's big and clumsy and I have nowhere to hang it) You ought to save it, someone might want it! (who? Remember the book...)  

Every day one at a time

The usual motto applies. I guess it's a good life motto, one day at a time. Not sure how to make it through otherwise. It doesn't seem like it ought to be a difficult day today. But I am reminded of Judy all the time, and I guess it can go one of two ways. Up, or down. Up, and I am laughing at some obscure memory, like sitting at the dining room table with Judy and my dad and watching and listening as they threw puns back and forth at lightning speed. Or how protective she was of me when I was little even though I must have been a pain in the neck, being seven years younger and having to share not only a room but a twin bed with a 4 year old. But she was always sweet to me and never had a harsh word, even though when I think about it and if I was the older one, I would get frustrated. If she did, I never knew about it.

The down is harder. I keep thinking of all I should have done for her. But I can't go back, for one thing. And the other was SHE didn't tell me anything about what was going on. 

Got some more stuff dealt with today. Tomorrow is take out the garbage day and the can is pretty full, but I am going to see if I can fit Just One More Thing in it. And there's an empty box to fill and take to donate. Some things got washed and packed away again, like the picture below. My dad gave that to me when I was just a little girl. 

A new thought about keeping or letting go... is it pulling its weight? Truthfully, I only want things I am actively using, with few exceptions. So some things went in the garbage... that strainer that is rusty around the edges, the whisk that has lost one of its arms, that spatula that needs gluing but WHO CARES any more, I've done without it for awhile. Now, can I talk myself out of one of those ratty old blankets THAT MY MOTHER MADE?? Of course that's the kicker. I am not tossing my mother, it is worn out from being loved. 

Be brave, little piglet.

Great-Grandma Mills' amber glass trinket dish. Ruthanna Terrell Mills,  1843 - 1916

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Losing my cousin...

 We've had an off and on kind of relationship, we both had very busy lives for a long time, me raising kids then working full time and her having a full social life while working full time. We lived together off and on growing up, and we kind of shared parents, since I got along better with her mom, and she got along better with mine! 

After she retired, we talked more often, and then I retired too, but COVID hit. We got together occasionally, but mostly phone conversations. She came to see me Thanksgiving 2023 but refused 2024. I didn't think much about it, but it might have been a clue if I had been looking for one.

A friend of hers called me and said she didn't think my cousin was telling me the truth about how she was doing. She was right. She could hardly stand. So we worked on convincing her to go to the doctor. But she kept refusing. I understand, I'm not great about going either. She finally decided to go.

She got diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in February. That's how my husband and I celebrated Valentine's Day this year, in a hospital waiting room for 12 hours! She was there for a few days, but it was clear she wasn't going to be able to go home. A few days later, she was transferred to a care home, where she stayed until she died in early April. 

Sad because she's gone, glad she's not in pain. Sad because I can't call her, or be with her, or sit by her bed, or sing to her, or any of the things I've been doing with her the past 2 months. 

But she left me her computer, so I'm back on the blog. 

That's life, sad, sad, glad, sad, glad. They exist together. 

Then there's the cat (the black one. She lost her sister last year). She is still terrified and hiding. Yesterday and today she didn't run as fast, or hide as deeply. We may come to some kind of a truce at worst and become friends at best. Time will tell. The bad part is how scared she is without her sister or her mama. The good part is her name is Boots, same as the last Tuxedo we had. I won't call her the wrong name...

Consolidating stuff and tossing and such.

ah, the Middle Bedroom. It was going to be my craft room, a place to sew, to paint etc. but then Kerry's mom had to leave her home for assisted living and her stuff came here. Of course, there was not much in that room at the time, so it got shoved in there. Then a few years later, my parents' stuff came on by, and of course, into that room.

So the dilemma then is I'm trying so hard to get that room totally usable for me, so I don't have to crawl over anything to reach the ribbons or the large stencils or the wood and cork drawer... or the spot where the beads are stored, so when I want, I can grab them. Or the box where the "current projects" ended up, under everything, so that "current" really means four or five years ago.

I'm ready to get rid of things, for the most part, but right now is a tough time, with friends hospitalized for COVID and other things, and some have died. Of people that I knew well when I was working at various churches, and some from where my mom and dad spent so long... well, since January, I stopped counting at 15 friends and acquaintances gone. Some from COVID and some from Oldness. And one from just here today, and SHOCK she's gone. Our movie and concert buddy. Just gone, just like that. 

Why it's hard, is that emotions are just about ready to boil over, and just a teensy bit more, and my eyes are leaking, and I'm looking for a tissue. 

Anyway. I keep trying to empty boxes and consolidate and put as much as I can in the OUT pile or the TRASH pile... but then I run into things like this. I can't put this in either pile.

Outside, it's quite unassuming. But this book is full of, well, the family book of best loved poems. I memorized a lot of poetry over the years, because I loved it, and so did my mom. This was more worn than her Bible I think, it was pasted back together and taped a number of times. She got a new Bible from time to time, but this book, I don't know if you could find another if you tried.

Also in the book are tucked a number of clippings from here and there. 

So here we are. The trunk is full, I have to make some decisions. I think, well it won't take up much room, or maybe I could do some collage with some of these pages and let the rest go, or put it on a shelf.

Any suggestions for letting go of Parental Stuff, or Mother in law Stuff, or Aunt Loretta Stuff, or whoever else's stuff is hanging around here?? Yes, even ex husband needs to get a box of stuff. And a bar stool, and another little stool he made. And I really ought to let him have some pictures from his children's childhood. And then there's a doll house...

Well, daughter, you better move into a bigger house.

An afternoon in someone else's garden

This was from an unknown time. We spent the afternoon in Ruben and Griselda's garden, it was lovely. I think it was only Cole, he must have been around 3.  They were living with Papa and Nana until their house was finished. It was so sweet for him to ask us to move in, but I don't think Papa and Nana and Mom and Dad agree.  

well it is Ruben and Griselda’s garden. It is very beautiful. We had a lovely afternoon just talking and watching as Cole blew bubbles, drew on the cement, and gave us a tour. We saw pill bugs, a snail, and various spiders. We talked about the Hulk, and just chatted. The highlight of the day was when Cole invited us to move into the house with them! Sweet, but…. um no. Not enough room, LOL

Happy birthday Mom...

today is my brother's birthday, I did send him a card, but I may try to call. My mom's birthday too. And my former pastor's wife. I sat and "talked" with my mom this morning, remembering the good stuff, forgiving the bad, being reminded of all the help she gave me with kids when we lived near them. I was blessed with great parents. A friend was talking about how he was abandoned by his mom when he was 7. He used to live in our neighborhood, and would come over and play ping pong, my mom loved it. So also reminded that I shared my mom with kids who needed a mom. So today I will try and honor her memory. 

 oh dear. Found another "unfinished" pile. I should be glad, I can make a BUNCH of cards, and give away some sets. Might, however, revise my "unfinished" rule. I really want to make some butterfly cards. I have such self control. HA.

I had high hopes for today, get up early, get dinner cooked, get a LOT done. But I couldn't go to sleep last night until 2 or so, and so I didn't even wake up until 10. This is all strange for a former earlybird. I don't WANT to go to sleep; but in the morning I don't want to wake up either. I quit caffeine, but am ready to go back to bedtime caffeine, I sleep better. Go figure. Oh yeah, ADD. 

Such strange days. SJ County COVID cases are down to 100 or so a day. So that's good. Last time we went out, LOTS of masks. There are still protesters that claim their rights are violated, but not so often. Lots of businesses are open, but people seem to be trying to be careful. It's hard to even think about what is going on all over, between politics, pandemic, hurricanes... so I'll just keep busy. It's not like I will ever run out of things to do around here, dealing with everybody's stuff (now who agreed to let it in the house in the first place??) and my own inertia. I am reminded again that everybody's online presence shows the best side and the good stuff and rarely the bad, with few exceptions. And I don't have many Face to Face relationships, even less now that we've been isolated for months. 

I used to have a separate blog for personal rambling stuff, but I have been consolidating, so there you go. 

Peace and Quiet, Pandemic Style

 This doesn't have much to do with creating, directly, but it does have much to do with peace of mind, so I guess it does have something to do with creating, indirectly. 

This swing was my grandma's swing. It's from the 1940s I think, which makes it around 80. 

As a teenager, I slept on this swing every night I could, summer and sometimes winter. I loved the feeling of just being alone, introvert that I am. My household always had extras in it, so escape I did.

When my parents sold their land, this spent a year in a storage shed, then moved with me. I haven't used it the last few years, it got piled up with stuff and dusty, and I was too busy lazy to clear it off. Well I've been feeling desperate for peace these days, so I did it. The arms need refinishing, again. My mom made the cover for this sometime in the 70s but since it has been on a porch and not in the sun, it's in good condition. I cleaned it with upholstery cleaner so it is good to go. I don't think I can get hubby out there to just sit, but I've spent quite a bunch of time out there just thinkin and gazing into space. Ahhhh. No political rantings, no pandemic news. Just quiet. Hubby hung up his mom's wind chimes, and they are deep and soothing. I think next is a small table so I can do some crafty stuff out there. My mom and dad and kids made a mosaic tabletop many years ago, but I have to figure out the legs, since it was attached to a typewriter table, which I've been using as a craft table, so maybe I'll use that and figure out what else to do for a craft table. No hurry, I'm not going anywhere. 

The Mills Family Swing

pictures {{groan}}

oh the good and bad of pictures. The good (the memories, the documentation of Life) and the bad (the fact that I have to take a picture of each slide and scan every picture) but it will be so worth it. Then I can share such gems as the following few........

just before I had Paul in 1979

Ian didn't really want his picture taken!

this guy was such a clown.

were they ever that little? Yup. My newborn firstborn. 

As if I don't have enough projects. But this one's really important. Boxes of pictures that are deteriorating by the day and slides and no slide projector. So I'll just keep plugging along.

what a year...

DECEMBER 14, 2010

what a year…

what a year this has been! Most of it shocked me into silence.  There has been good… but so much sadness and grief for me.  Since my uncle’s death, I have also faced the cancer and death of my nephew and  my friend Marilyn, my friend John’s suicide, and the death of my (our, long story!) beloved dog, Chance. During this time, my father has been in the hospital several times, my mother once, my brother had a heart attack and then back surgery, and my mother in law has required much more care.  I did have the opportunity to become reacquainted with my brother; however it was to attend my nephew’s funeral so it wasn’t a happy visit. My daughter did get to come with me so that was a plus. We rode in this tiny plane; I was very nervous when I got on the plane– it was SO LITTLE!! but I hurried to my seat and glued my face to the window, and I did okay.

I have been struggling, off and on, with trying to start my own business. But it is like I have been in a fog! I am still doing several websites, but that is about all. Just can’t seem to get going in any direction much less figure out what direction I want to be going!

Sometimes I just want to write the good stuff.  Life is a mixture of both though. The good stuff is that I have a Savior who loves me despite the fog and the quirks. Amazing.

living the dream...

SEPTEMBER 9, 2010

living the dream…

whereas in reality my dream is to be where the Lord wants me to be, I have my own preferences. However, at the moment the dream and reality are not the same. Learning to be content in whatever place the Lord puts me, but that longing for the mountains hangs with me. I did get to spend a week in the beautiful mountains of Washington state.

My brother is living the dream, on thirty wonderful acres. However, his dream includes SNOW part of the year, which isn’t exactly part of MY dream. I like a LITTLE snow, but he sent pics of a LOT of snow.

Having visited in August, I got to see summer. The weather was pleasant, a little cooler than I am used to for summer. But GORGEOUS…. It was a bittersweet trip which included a memorial service for my nephew Aaron who fought cancer for a year but died at the end of July. My parents funded my trip, otherwise I couldn’t have gone. Liv went too, which made it easier, she served as my Courage and Bravery of which I am lacking! But I got into an itty bitty plane (4 seats wide and not much taller than Liv) and crammed my face into the window and tried not to think about where I was; enjoyed the scenery and the company. Liv of course made friends with a wee cutie and they were fun to watch too.

The trip inspired me to do FIVE scrapbook pages. And I am not done yet. My mom and dad had a wonderful garden this year. This is of their courtyard where they live. My father must have his fingers in dirt so he has many containers on the patio and has grown so many interesting things. It seems that many of the people in the complex haven’t seen vegetables growing, so he has grown zucchini, corn, green beans, and even potatoes. Last year he actually harvested a few tufts of cotton!

Well I had better get busy. I got an order for 12 thank you cards, with cats on them. I have lots of ideas running around in my head, but I better get them done, hopefully to be delivered within a day or two. 🙂my precious nephew Aaron…

Uncle Alan...

FEBRUARY 23, 2010

 

I’ve had enough darkness and winter. Right now it is windy and rainy.

My uncle died last week. It has been a sad time. My father is now alone– his 9 brothers and sisters are all gone. He says that is what has been hitting him the most, feeling alone.

I’m glad that in spite of humanly being alone, he is not alone. He knows that this isn’t the end. He knows that it is good that my uncle is no longer suffering. He knows that he will see him again along with his brothers and sisters.

It’s still sad. Having to clear out his apartment and seeing what he left behind made me want to run home and throw some stuff out so my loved ones won’t have to see the silliness that I collect. My mother was laughing over 70 coasters and 10 shoehorns. I can only imagine how people are going to feel going through my stuff. 🙂

We did find a song book from the 1800’s– that had belonged to my Quaker great-grandfather. It was full of the love of the Lord.  It was encouraging in the midst of the hard things that we have been going through.

He also had started 4 rose bushes. In spite of how badly he had been doing, he was still gardening a tiny bit. I’ve been told it is hard to slip roses. They looked healthy and full of potential. His birdfeeder, full of thistle, attracts Lesser Goldfinches. It was so restful to just sit and watch them. I remember the last time I was with him, we were just sitting there watching the birds come and go. A quiet time.

He will be greatly missed. By my father and my mother. By his neighbors. By his daughter. By me.

Grandma's Windblown Tulips

Well, I had a call from far away quite awhile ago, about my great grandma's quilt. I found out it was called "Windblown Tulips" and was designed by Marie Webster. To see a big picture of the quilt, go here:
http://www.antiquequiltdating.com/ColonialRevivalEraQuilts-on-Exhibit.html
 
It seems that this pattern was first published in 1911 in the Ladies' Home Journal. I wonder how many women made this? Marie Webster was the first to make a "cottage industry" out of quilting. What was she like? The historical aspect of quilters and quilting is fascinating to me.Sorry it took me so long to get back to this. Life just gets in the way. I hope that you found your answer already. Thank you for helping me find a bit more history about my treasured quilt!

One more thing.... you can buy the windblown tulips pattern here:
http://www.practicalpatchwork.com/garden.html

what I've been up to... (musings)

DECEMBER 31, 2006

what I’ve been up to…

Christmas began the 17th of December, with stepsons 1 and 2 and their wives, and grandson 1 and 2. We all got together at great-grandma’s house (MIL), SHE says the last time, but she says that every year, she’s 91. And one of these years WILL be the last one; we’re planning on next year here, but if she’s still up to it, I know she’ll insist on there one more time. I admire her greatly. She’s active, both physically and mentally. She runs circles around me as I’ve said more than once. A good role model. Turkey with all the trimmings, including pumpkin pie, fudge, carmel corn… persimmon bars, snickerdoodles… yummy stuff.

Christmas Eve my DD came; we had dinner with DH, DD, DS 19, MIL, and me. Oyster stew. Frozen fruit salad. MY family traditional dinner for Christmas Eve. Delicious. I will put the recipes in my holiday planner notebook (started this year; too bad I didn’t do it years ago! What a help it was!)

Christmas Day, at DS 29’s house. His wife, her mom and stepdad, her grandparents, her cousin and his wife, my DS 23, DD 25, DS 19. All but DS 27. It was good- DIL made breakfast, and it took all day to open presents….

The day after Christmas, my mom and dad came to our house, along with DS 27 and his wife, and DD and DS 19 were there… and afterwards, we played Mystery Mansion. A good time. We need a new Mystery Mansion game, however, it is so old and the cards are soft, and you can tell from the back which are the keys… LOL!!

NEXT YEAR… better plans. But I did pretty well this year, I can see areas of improvement. But I am happy with how things went. We had all the present buying and wrapping done way early. It was nice not to have to rush at the last minute. Next year, we will work on calendars earlier! It was too rushed, and generally a disaster. But they got done, and delivered before New Year’s.

Wednesday we took DD home. It is always such a sad time, I hate having her live so far away, only 8 hours but STILL!!! She’s been my best friend her whole life. I am so thankful for the wonderful relationship that we have.

Thursday we got back here. I am seeing so clearly how I have so much planning to do. Menu planning. I used to have so much planned ahead, we will get back to that.