I reacted like the white person I am. I replied.... well.... put yourself in a white person's shoes (like me) and remember that not all white people think those things. Understand when we get defensive being accused of being racist, privileged awful people. Yes I understand that the "white" slant has been here from the beginning. It does not mean ALL white people think that's ok. Don't accuse people of any "hidden racism" if we say we don't think of people as one race or another. Because i don't! Don't nod knowingly and say there's my white privilege hanging out. I did not ask to be white. I am not personally responsible for anything other than my own attitudes. I don't like white privilege any more than you. There are lots of white people who have been hurt by Strong White Male syndrome including me. I have been sexually assaulted. I was forced out of a job because I didn't fit some man's standards. So forgive us white people for reacting and feeling attacked for being white! I know you are not personally attacking me but I can sure see the anger toward whiteness. I don't have to like being white but I don't have to apologize for being who God made me.
I am not used to classifying people. I am told that White People are Racists, they have White Privilege, and always have White attitude. Why do people of color not understand that what they say is totally insulting? Why can't we just be PEOPLE????? I know, we as a WORLD can't go on as we are, discriminating, letting White Power stand... I get that. I will work toward digging out the bits of racist things that exist in me as a white person.
So if I must classify my friends..... I know an incredible Asian couple. Ellen is a fabulous cook, more traditionally Japanese, whatever that is. Suzie loves Mexican food. We grew up in the same church, she makes me laugh, and since we both have/had houses full of parents' stuff and both are insomniacs, I identify with her. I rarely think about what color they are. I just enjoy Ellen's talents and Suzie's wonderful writing and building talents!! Then there is my gorgeous Latina daughter in law and my wonderful Latino son in law, and my seven half Mexican grandsons. There's also Billy, a former co worker who is transitioning transgender as well as Hispanic. I admit I do not currently know many black people, but I have in the past, I even dated a black guy for awhile. Then there is a Muslim friend, who is a wonderful quilt maker, and a cardiac physician's assistant. I know no native Americans that I know of. Not sure I ever have, but I'm told that there's Native American back there somewhere in my family tree. Like Elizabeth Warren LOL My white friends ancestors are from Russia. My husband's are from Germany. This nation is indeed a melting pot.
When passing through the midwest as a child, I wanted an Indian doll. I thought it was authentic. Turns out it was Made in Japan LOL I collected stuff that was made all over the world. A scarf from Poland. A poncho from Mexico. Some maracas a friend picked up for me. A zither from Russia. I loved the diversity.
Really, I would rather not classify people. I was taught by my father to respect everyone. He was always bringing people home. He brought home a Japanese guy from Japan for dinner when I was 4. The reason I remember so well is I knocked over a heavy redwood bench and smashed my foot, and our guest sat in the ER with me on his lap for hours. I remember one Christmas dinner with three elderly ladies from a local nursing home that didn't have families. He brought home a guy that was a teenage friend of our church organist who was afraid to go home because he thought his dad would beat him. My dad let him sleep it off in the garage. He brought home an entire family that were migrants living in the middle of a vineyard in a shack. He found them a place to live and a job for the mom. We had foster kids. I don't particularly remember who was what race. The one I really didn't get along with was Italian but it had nothing to do with his ethnicity.
One of my dad's best friends was a Japanese man who worked for the California Youth Authority. Our families would go out there and play volleyball with the inmates. My parents arranged joint meetings with the African Methodist church in Stockton. He trembled during the race wars of the 60s. I remember him crying when we saw the red skies and smoke from the next city over. He worked hard for racial equality. He helped establish a church for migrants just outside of our city. At that time, it was not acceptable for black people to live in the city limits, although Asians and Latinos were tolerated... he would go to city council meetings whenever there were race issues.
My ancestors are almost exclusively European White. In my genealogy study, I've traced some that could have been slave holders (couldn't prove it), some that were slaves ("indentured servants") from Ireland, and some that were Quakers and worked with the Underground Railway. Some were from Scotland and spent a couple generations in Canada. My ancestors were survivors, just like everyone else's.
I hate that those European white people came to America, wiped out the native American populations, brought slaves from Ireland and Africa. I hate that before that, my ancestors were part of the Crusades.I hate that some with my color skin locked up Japanese during the war. I hate that my town is essentially segregated.
I hate that some of the people with my skin color think that they are better than anyone else and want all folks of color out of the country. I hate that some people are so angry that they are looting and destroying some of our cities.
I AM NOT THEM. I AM ME. I am a child of God. Yes, there are strange stereotypes that I have believed and rejected. I remember the first time I saw a black person and I asked my father why they wanted to have such dark skin. I thought the color would rub off!! I remember being afraid, at first, being out at the migrant camp. I remember feeling self conscious at the AME church. I remember in college being on a debate team with black kids and feeling like the odd one. I remember reading Black Like Me and seeing racial slurs on the bathroom walls at school. I remember becoming good friends with a black girl from that debate team.
I remember agreeing to play piano and lead worship for a church group, and getting there and not seeing another white face anywhere. I remembered how they stared at me, and wouldn't participate, they just sat there. Was it cultural difference, or did they not want me there? I did not feel welcome, in any case!
I do know that our nation is unfortunately systemically favoring WHITENESS. Many of us whites are trying hard to reverse the bias. We must all work together to change it. I think we have made progress, as a nation, however that progress is in danger because of the political climate. Enough on that.
I do have to do more thinking, what can I do now as an old lady to improve the situation?
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