Friday, October 11, 2019

sad days

This just has been sidelined for a long time. Again. Too much for my poor brain to hold.

My mom died on April Fool's Day, her last joke on us, one of the caregivers said. It was not a pretty journey the last few months. I see the last post here about my mom was when she broke her back. She never really recovered. That cough turned out to be a sign that her body was shutting down. Along with the endless eczema, and the increasing dementia.

Because of the cough, the doctor had me give her some Mucinex, which turned out to be a bad idea since it caused her to have hallucinations and to be unable to eat. It was a couple days before I could get them to STOP. I thought she was gone then, but she sure was a strong one, she pulled through. The facility told me I was either going to have to move her to a different facility or put her on hospice.  I chose hospice. They assured me they would not drug her.

Unfortunately they drugged her anyway. Instead of calling me, they gave her ativan and something I can't remember, which was on the list of problem drugs for her. Seems to me that "if only" I could have been there BEFORE they gave her stuff, it would have saved so much misery. They said it was NECESSARY to keep her safe. What it caused her was a lot of anger because they PROMISED her they wouldn't give her drugs. But they did.

 So her last couple weeks were full of hallucinations and screaming. She got very combative and told everyone they were trying to poison her, that I was cheating on my husband, that the place was full of prostitutes and rapists. She beat up one of the construction guys and threw water on a caregiver. I was crying and pleading with them to stop the drugs. They finally stopped. By then she was getting weak, but as long as I was there, she was ok and they didn't drug her.. So I was there all the time from then on. But by that time she wouldn't eat, it became hard to swallow, and talk. She asked me how she could die.

There were those who said I was just "in denial" but I know those last days could have been much better. It's hard... to just let it go, knowing she's gone, and I couldn't really have done anything different. Her biggest fear was being drugged and I couldn't stop it. It just makes me sad.

We had planned on moving her to another section of the facility, so we had already started packing up. Crazy. She died in the morning, and we had her totally moved out by evening.

I'm still grieving.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2019

This is a tutorial of the Never Ending card that I've been making.

It's a bit of a challenge to get everything lined up just right but the more I make the better they get.
#1 a valentine
This is the front of the card. I also made envelopes to match. 

The second opening

The third opening

The fourth flip. The fifth flip takes you back to the beginning

The second card is a birthday card. I made the second flip the front of the card because that's the paper I had for the envelope. I like it this way too!
The first flip. I wrote a bunch of stuff between the hearts.

The second flip. I really like how this looks.
The final flip. This would have been the cover but I changed to the second flip. Confused? LOL watch the tutorial.

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Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Back to Creating

 I've had many detours over the last few years. The latest was yesterday. I planned on staying home ALL DAY and even told my mom that was my plan, and she was wholeheartedly for the plan. However, the detour started at 5 AM.

A call from my mom's facility. My mom fell and scraped her back. She was disoriented, she was coughing. I know the cough, it's allergies. It isn't usually until spring, but it's January, and I have a sunflower blooming in my yard. Everything's blooming. An unusually mild winter. I'm sneezing nonstop and my mom coughs.

The facility was really worried about the cough and said I needed to take her in. Not so concerned about the fall. But she started complaining about pain, and soon was unable to move without pain.

I called 911 and she took an ambulance ride down the street a few blocks to the hospital. We spent 6 hours in the ER and the diagnosis.....

a broken back.

The doctor stuck his head in the door, and told me that, and that he would be back in a minute. That minute turned into more than an hour. During that time I was bawling, and telling my mom I was sorry it was ending this way, but there's not much you can do when you have fragile bones, and you're 93.

Then he comes back and says there is a tiny crack in one vertebra. No surgery. No sign of any other break. So. In the space of an hour, we're back to hope. She started sitting up. Today when I came she WALKED toward me. She said there isn't a lot of pain. Ok then. No funeral. Not yet.


There is a certain amount of adventure with dementia. Today my mom asked me why I was cheating on my husband. ????? No mama, we're good. Remember, he sat with us all day yesterday. Oh yes that's right.

Back to creating? I hope so. Later today, maybe tomorrow. My mind is frazzled. Maybe some abstract something with a lot of color. Hmm.
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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

a number of things....

Right now, I have a number of things going. I'm doing "Be your own Inspiration", "30 days of Art Journaling"and "Coloring Made Meaningful" With Allyson Bright's "Determined to Shine." program.
Because of that, I enrolled in Tangie Baxter's Art Journal Emporium, and plan on being there for maybe three months tops... her art is not exactly my style, but I'm learning. I got several art journaling books, and am planning to go through them one at a time. The first is The Confident Creative by Cat Bennett. It isn't exactly a journaling book, it's a Creativity book. Drawing in particular. I've always wanted to draw but never felt "good enough" but I just might be breaking through somehow. I guess it's about time.
The second book is 101 Mixed Media Techniques by Walter Foster publishing-- there are several authors. I haven't started this one yet.  The third one is something called Journal Spilling by Diana Trout. It looks like it will have tons of practical information.
The last one is The Art of Whimsical Lettering by Joanne Sharp. Lots of ideas for different fonts based on MY handwriting (or YOURS if you are going through it)

I'm also still working in my gratitude journal. I try to do a page every day or so, but I haven't been strict with myself. I am loving it.

I am also doing a challenge with my daughter, a Christmas 31 day scripture writing plan. Every day there are about 10 minutes of writing, so it's pretty do-able. I'm using it to practice lettering and good readable handwriting. I've also been doing some illustrations and/or stickers on some of the pages. I think it will be a great one to keep with my Christmas stuff and go through another time.

So is that all? I have also collected some coloring books. I love that they are doing this at the moment. The fad won't last forever, but that's okay, I probably have a few years' supply by now. Many from the Dollar Tree lately, because of Christmas.

So there you are.
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Sunday, November 20, 2016

Fluttering Flitting Flying

I've been struggling with depression in a major way. So. I came across Determined to Shine, which was started by Allyson Bright a few years after the death of her husband by suicide. Read and hear  her story here. Determined to Shine

I'm not young anymore, on the outside. But I am on the inside. I have a LOT to learn. Allyson is about the age of my daughter! But she's gained a lot of wisdom along the way.

I don't want to say a lot about the classes, read about them on her website (link above) There are several classes so far, Be Your Own Inspiration, 30 days of Journal Prompts, and the brand-new Coloring Made Meaningful.

One of the things in the main class was making a gratitude journal. I scrambled some of her ideas and some of my own. I had purchased a Happy Planner (another story!!!) and ordered the small disks by mistake. So I made a little gratitude journal with 6 x 6 paper.  I am LOVING it and have plans for more for the rest of the year.

the cover. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for

One day I just couldn't think about ANYTHING to be thankful for. Then it dawned on me how much I appreciate having seasons.

My fourth child's birthday was last week. I am VERY thankful for him!

I found this quote online. It says it all. Even on those days when all I see is dark depression, I sure have stuff to be thankful for.

And there's always Winnie the Pooh. ❤

So I have some more 6x6 paper on order.I see that I'll fill up winter before winter is over, since we've not exactly really begun. I just decided to start Christmas early this year. I need all the encouragement I can get. 

Another thing I found for journal prompts was "The Ungame" at the thrift store. I'm getting a good collection of stuff. And used some already. 
AND... while shopping for a coloring book, I found this. I've colored several so far and included one in a birthday card already. 

I am now rich in supplies for creating. Several new coloring books, gel pens, and markers. I've made a few background pages, and hope to get out my gelli plate one of these days too. I also found a journal that needs some decoupage on the cover. So there are no excuses to stop being creative. 

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Tuesday, September 27, 2016

I guess I didn't think I had enough to do...

Thrift store SCORE today.The dolls were 75 cents apiece because on Tuesdays that thrift store has 25% off for Seniors which I gladly admitted. Actually, Lulu was marked 75 cents, so that made her 56 cents. I think Ricky was also marked 79 cents. I loved the regular Ricky and was a little sad to see him go, but thought he would be fun for JP who is being raised bilingually.

There's a Beanie Bopper named Lovable Lulu on the left. I have several others of those. Her hair was all tangly and as I straightened it out I saw that someone cut her bangs right down to the roots. It isn't super obvious, but I might take some of her back hair and make bangs. Right now I just surface washed her and re-tied her hair. 

Mini Ricky is next. This one's batteries are dead, so tomorrow I get some batteries and we will see what he says when you squeeze his tummy. I basically brushed him off well and got some junk out of his hair. These soft dolls can't really be washed but I spray them well with Lysol and let them dry. 

The next three are.... Bratz dolls with no feet. Can't leave the face painting alone. I already stripped the face off Cloe (the blonde) All have very tangled hair. All will need clothes, I downloaded the Tree Change Dolls knit and crochet patterns and I think that I can use Stacie's pants pattern with a little tweaking. Dresses would be simple. 

So now there are dolls waiting line, and decisions to be made, And something to reward myself when I get the chores done. 

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Sunday, September 18, 2016

I'm scared.

Can you hear the zombie music? This poor girl was sold "for parts" or TLC. There's a reason she was cheap. She looks about the same vintage as my Ginny, and I seem to be collecting two of whatever.

I am choosing TLC for this sweetie. She is filthy. Her wig is half off. It's in reasonably good condition although the cap has disintegrated. She only has half her eyelashes on one eye, her eyelids are painted different colors! She has no eyebrows and very little lips. She also has a crack on one shoulder and a small crack that hasn't split on her back.

She won't be a Play doll obviously but I have hopes for her. So far I started cleaning her, eased off her wig. Someone hot glued part of it. That came right off. I've been reading about wigs and I am going to re-use this one, hopefully. The seam has a tiny break in it but I am thinking fray-check. I will have to test it on an obscure part of the wig.

So this girl will be a learning experience. I love to fix stuff. I'm going to learn a lot such as How to Attach Wigs and How to Paint Eyebrows and Lips and How to Fix cracks. This is a bit more of an adventure that the 70s and 80s dolls I have done, and the minimum work I've had to do on my own littles.

So far I have cleaned her up a lot, taken off her wig so I can replace it STRAIGHT instead of wonky.

 She looks far less scary. I am still a little scared, thinking about doing a good job on her even though I don't really know what I'm doing. I have no idea on what kind of paint to use, or what kind of glue to use for her wig.

I did restring my own Ginny, so I do know how to do that much. I have the other hair bow, and amazingly her wig style is pretty intact. I can't imagine why she is so filthy. Well played with I guess but not loved in the last few years?

Here she is before I took her wig off. There's still lots of dirt to coax out of the nooks and crannies. What I imagine happened is that she was on a doll stand or something and not dusted for many years. The dirt is really sticky like the top of the refrigerator gets! I have to get more of those pointy q tips to get in those corners. I don't think I am going to try to repaint her eyelids, even though they are different colors you can't tell when her eyes are open.

So my goals for her are:

REALLY clean.
cracks repaired
maybe repaint her lips and eyebrows
hair re glued
make dress for her
let her join the Littles crew

and maybe do more with her eyes and eyelids when I know more. They work really well, unlike my Ginny, whose eyes have to be pried open once in awhile. The walking mechanism still works, although she's a bit pigeon-toed; but if she's displayed nobody will know. My Ginny stands by herself. This one might need a stand. We will see.

NOTE on 9/18... she's clean. I rebuilt her wig by making a new wig cap for her, washing the hair, restitching it to gauze and sewing it to the wig cap. Didn't take pictures. She says no pictures until her dress is done and her eyebrows are back. I think her hair is doing pretty well for a fifty plus year old wig. Right now her arms are off and maybe tomorrow I'll fix her cracks and her dress.

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About Me

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just a crafty grandma experimenting with all sorts of things. My main interests are paper craft of any kind and quilting/sewing. But I've done leatherwork, polymer clay, on-the-wheel pottery, painted molded ceramics, papier mache, stained glass, plaster casting, linoleum printing, paper making... you name it, I've probably tried it. A few I actually stuck with. :)