a sad day today.

This morning when I turned on my computer, it went straight to a browser, even though it is supposed to be passworded... and in the search bar it said "obituaries placerville CA" so I clicked on it. Unfortunately there were two more obituaries of people who I knew and loved from there, Ruth and Pamela. I could hear Pamela's voice, saying, I'm fine, I'm with your mom,  you don't need to grieve for us, we can dance again. 

I don't know for sure, but apparently COVID went through the nursing facility. I don't know about Ruth or Pamela, their obits didn't say. But earlier in the week there were five people from there who had died from the virus. A few months ago, it went through our facilities here, and many died. 

Have to keep thinking, my friends who have died are celebrating in Heaven.   Because my parents' were blessed with many many friends and a lot of them became mine and they are Older than me shall we say I have to expect that they will die, especially with this virus going around. Ruth was 97, Pamela was 93. Good long lives. 

So rest in peace, and in celebration, all you who have gone before me... Charlie and Peg; Eino and John, Edith my mom's puzzle buddy, Bob and Ann (my friend Dorothy's husband and daughter) Erla, who brought laughter to all of us, Helga, mom's quiet neighbor; Joan H. who I helped with her camellias; Dennie, who was from China and gave my mom beautiful cards and vases of flowers when my dad died; Jane, Eva, and Gini who died earlier this month... Ruth and Pamela. That's a few of them. Many from the congregations I worked for over the years are gone too, many with COVID. No more suffering, no more dementia for some; looking for the positive. 

So if I can focus on their gain instead of my loss...  their healing instead of the ache in my heart. 

It is well, it is well, oh my soul...

another mini doily

I was so excited about this doily I forgot to take a picture before I put it on my quilted heart. I used a

smaller hook, and in some ways it was actually easier, since the thread seemed to go more smoothly and was much easier to work it. It only took me about ten minutes to do, so I think I will end up doing more. This is the third project with this fabric!! Originally it was a quilt made by my great grandma, well worn with stains and holes,  and a long time ago my mom made it into vests for her granddaughters, herself, and for me. However, the vests were all tiny and my daughter and I are not. I don't know if my niece got one, she's tiny so it would be wearable. Anyway, I decided to cut the three I have up and make these hearts, some to give away, and a couple for keepsakes for my daughter and I. I got  four hearts per vest! They are around 5 inches across.

I am pleased with how they turned out, I already gave one away,  Some have lavender in them, except the one for my daughter, who doesn't tolerate the smell of lavender which is sad since I love it so much. I just made hers unscented. So now I just have to embellish the rest, and these little doilies are perfect for the vintage fabric. 

I also cleared out two more bags of clothes, ten T shirts gone, as well as a bunch of hangers. I can't believe how many hangers I have. I should not be surprised, since they were Mom's, Evelyn's, and Loretta's as well as mine. I even found a wooden hanger from Hilton Hotels, which must have been from my uncle Alan. I come from a family of SAVERS. Not a bad thing, nobody had a trash house just full closets and lots of boxes. 

 

Little Mini Doily and related thoughts.

 

I've never made a mini doily. Or any doily for that matter. I have made crocheted doll clothes and wash cloths and such but never an actual doily. I am thinking I need a smaller hook for this. 

It is only about 2 inches across, and I think with a smaller hook it will be just right for my hearts. 

The other thing I made was little flowers. I need a smaller hook. I have tons of smaller hooks that were my grandma's, my great grandma's. my mom's, and my sister in law's. They are in a little plastic box.

Somewhere. 

Sigh.

I just ordered some red and cream thread but the rest is from  my sister in law's stash which I inherited. It's fun to do something different. I also got a ton of embroidery floss, pearl floss, metallic floss from her. I have already given away half of it, to a woman who works where my mom lived and does counted cross stitch. I still have way more than I could ever use. Hmm... I could crochet a little doily from pearl cotton. It would be pretty.

I have been tempted by some craft-of-the-month kits but I have (wisely) decided that I have enough stuff to keep me busy forever. 

a particularly tough week. (musings)

Sometimes I want to write things out but when they get to a certain level of bad I just don't. I started the week finding four more obituaries... and there's been more news watching here for some reason, and that's always depressing. I did fill my car with Out Pile stuff and took it to donate. A certain amount of this declutter effort is depressing, when I run into unfinished project after unfinished project. 

Then I was reminded of a comment when I gave one of my kids a quilt for their wedding, and he said FINALLY.... but reality is that quilt I told him I would do WHEN HE WAS IN COLLEGE never got done. It is all cut out, squares assembled.... and sitting in a box. 

So I am allowing myself a couple days of Unfinished Project grief, then I must decide if I am going to finish it, or if I can just let it go. There are so many shouldas wouldas couldas running around in here, it paralyzes me from doing anything. I just sit there and kick myself. NOT HELPFUL.

And creativity??? For some odd reason I felt like making teensy crocheted flowers. So I've made a few, and got some red crochet thread and "natural" to make a few mini doilies for my quilted hearts. 

I did a rolodex card, since I was doing Cat's Red page. 

It just seems ordinary and BLAH. But that's how I'm feeling. And it's not even a great picture of it. Sadly, I don't care. Maybe I will care later.

Card Making Prepping

I like to try to stay orderly but it doesn't come easy to me! I like to be able to just pop in my craft room (which is half STORAGE at the moment) and put together a card quickly. So here's what I do. I have white card stock pre made into card bases, either cut in half 5 1/2 by 8 or 4 1/4 x 11. Then I score them into either top folding or side folding, depending of course on what I do, and some I score into center folding cards. I have a container in my drawer that I put them in. Sometimes I used colored card stock to make bases, but usually I do that as I go if I want colored cards.

I have it marked on my score board so it is quick and easy. I don't always remember the measurements so I have to have reminders LOL

I have a large card file box where I keep my frames and technique pieces. 

"frame" category is 4 x 5  1/4. This leaves an 1/8 inch space around the edge for this size card. I either cut this out of plain colored stock (I use a lot of black for frames) and also cut technique pieces this size if I feel like it, and don't use a frame for them. I also cut printed paper this size for quick cards.

"inner" category is 3 3/4 x 5. This is usually for technique pieces, but I also cut a bunch of plain white this size for doing quick technique pieces. I also cut a few of plain colored card stock but I hardly ever end up using them! I also cut this size of patterned card stock if I think I would use it for a card. 

Sometimes I have odd size technique pieces, and I just stick them in the front of my file. For this one, I cut as I did it. 

The card file box I use is pretty huge. I got it at a thrift store, but it measures 5 1/2 tall by 9 inches wide and 5 1/2 inches deep. I also keep technique pieces that fit in there in the back uncut. 

I have another smaller one, not recipe box size but bigger that I keep my finished cards in. It would also work for this. Maybe better LOL... 

When I first started making cards, I didn't have a trimmer, or a cuttlebug, or many stamps, only a few stencils. When I look back on them I am amazed at the difference. Sometimes, I think it would be good to just do without all the gadgets, and do what pleases ME instead of trying to be so perfect.

http://lindyslovelies.blogspot.com/p/cards-cards-cards.html

some examples of technique pieces no frames

I can see I need to work on my tags. There are several tags, "cards" and "cards I made" and "hand made cards" if you want to see more. Meanwhile I will work on consolidating the tags LOL

Cat Hand's Book of Color, Red

Looking at everyone's pages, I just thought there was TOO MUCH RED. It's not my favorite color. I like it, especially with rainbows. I love all colors, but so much red... maybe it's so much any color, I guess I'll find out when I do more pages. I am really thinking of doing backgrounds light and then adding color. I keep thinking about these as calendar pages, and as i am doing them 8 1/2 x 11 they will fit into page protectors. 

 I found some white with red paper so that was my base. The quotation just jumped at me from the beginning, not sure where it came from, but red is often associated with passion. I had an agreement with myself , NO HEARTS. Everyone has hearts. I can't stand to be the same...

after I did this I added a little more doodles and undoubtedly will add more. But it's a start.  And now I need a January page. I'm thinking black and white with tiny touches of each color. 

A little break (musings)

A little break. Once in awhile I go through my "stash" and supplies to re-think what I want. Today I was going through stencils. I have collected lots of stencils, some from the dollar tree, some from thrift stores (I found a whole bag of them once!!) and collections from who knows where, like Hobby Lobby or Walmart or Michael's. One of my favorites is Stencil Girl, and I have some from them. 

I have made some of my own, and a few I got from some interesting notebooks that had stencil covers. I found a book with cardboard stencils, and used a few of them.  And some stencils that are Mendhi stencils, used for henna tattoos! Other things that you might not think of.... lace, even some interesting flyswatters.  I use them in card making, in gelli printing, in art journal pages, just doing it for fun with inks or paints or sprays. 

So there are two reasons I do this inventory, one to see if I can cull out some so others can get some use out of ones I don't use, and to remind myself of what I actually have so I will use them.  And to get myself in creative mode. Sometimes it's too much in creative mode because I stop what I am doing and create. Right now my creative surface is full of stuff and I need to clear it off before I can do anything. That's ok, it will keep me from getting too sidetracked.

I'm getting there. My next project is stickers, which I love for who knows what reason. I have a notebook of them, and a drawer of them. I like the notebook because you can flip through and see them, and they don't come off the background... but I think I have too many for that notebook, so I either need to not worry about it or cull my collection. 

I also found some projects I need to get finished. One thing at a time, right? It overwhelms me if I try to think of it all at once. I have also told myself that I am under no obligation for any of it. That helps, because sometimes when I think of things I was going to do... like a wall hanging for C or M or J (which all three had fabric gathered, but never finished) or all the card ideas I have but don't get to, or the supplies I buy or never use.... well it gets me into "I am such a failure" mode and that never helped anybody, it's just a deadly down spiral. 

So the goal for today was to get through one box of stuff. Instead, I went through my stencils. I did eventually get that box emptied. And culled out a small pile of stencils I never use and can't imagine using. So my Out pile is growing, but the thrift stores aren't open at the moment due to the pandemic, so can't donate. I'm going to see about making a few calls and see what I can find out. 

I've been going through my clothes, and I am making good progress letting go. The KonMari method is not particularly helpful to me, since it involves gathering each category into a pile and then putting them away and I don't have all that sorting room. But something that HAS been helpful is thanking whatever you are putting in the out pile. It sounds crazy, but when I talk to the item, thank it for serving me (or my mom, or dad, or whosever it was) and tell it to go bless someone else, it really helps me let it go. I have a gorgeous embroidered pillow (actually a LOT of them; I had talented aunts, mom, and mother in law) and picturing someone being delighted to have it instead of me grudgingly keeping it "because so and so made it" and I know MY kids don't want them... but by that letting it go and reminding me that someone else using it beats another 20 years in a box somewhere... well it helps me let stuff go. 

Things are memory triggers. But truthfully I don't need ALL the things my father made to remember my father. I handed out a lot of ceramics to my kids and cousins, but there are STILL MORE> and I just can't keep all. Telling them to go bless someone else helps. I still have a lot. And I have pictures of all that he ever made, since he did that. So I can look at the pictures, and smile.

Right now I have many of my wall hangings hanging up. I can't stand to let them go, but maybe I should. Blessing someone else is a good thing, not a bad thing. Some day, my kids will have to go through my stuff, and they will stand there saying, what the heck should I do with THIS?? And I should really let go of a LOT. 

Funny. I was thinking of a blouse that was my mom's. I remember thinking one time, that's going to be mine some day and then feeling guilty that I thought that. It was a really loose shirt jacket on her, so it was like a regular blouse on me...Well it's mine now, my mom is gone. And when I go to put it on, it is not a warm memory of my mom that greets me but a memory of my greedy thoughts. I need to let that bless someone who does not have that connection to it, or LET GO of my guilt. It does make me laugh. There is a LOT that is now mine that must be let go of. There's a packed garage out there of other folks' stuff, as well as my own. I would love to just hire a dumpster for much of it. 

So now I will go and find fifteen things to let go of. It won't take long. I'll be hugging coats and pillows, and thanking them for keeping my mom warm and comforting her. I can't wear them, she was 5 ft tall and 95 pounds, and I am..... larger than that. Of course that reminded me of my mother in law, also a 5 ft tall 95 pound person, who was trying to get me to try on some jackets of hers one day. They were size 8. I wear somewhere around a 12 or 14. I finally gave in and "tried" to get one one but of course it wouldn't fit. Her response? "I had no idea you were so fat". Thanks Grandma.

 But there's someone out there who needs this exact coat. And these pillows. And these hangers, and suitcases, and books.....

and I need a thrift store to be open somewhere. 

Cat Hand, book of Color

Starting Cat Hand's 2021 Book of Color series. So far, I have the cover done; maybe. I keep adding little things to it, but it's basically a multi colored collage of all the colors of the rainbow. 

I will probably add other colors if other colors are chosen. The first one is red for January. I have been gathering scraps of this and that of colored collage. I think it will be fun.

Here's the first video about making the cover.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oy6WPmXMlwM

The whole cover. This will be a great challenge. Not the only thing I will be doing, but a little bit of structure, and challenge.

And using up "stuff". I gather interesting bits of stuff, and I'm getting them organized, so it will be easier for me to use them up. 

Keep breathing.

art journaling again

Today was such an odd day. We've had such bad news the last few days, I've had a hard time sleeping (go ahead and scold me for not "giving it to the Lord" but it wasn't for a want of trying. My heart is troubled that anyone in this country wants civil war and I don't even know what they want to fight about.)

Okay. Back to art journaling. After I got the background how I liked it, (from this post) I was baffled as to what else I wanted on it. I have other backgrounds that are just stuck away waiting for something, and usually before long something hits me. Today, I was putting away the lovely calendar I rescued and looking through it to see if there was something I might use. I saw this and the colors were all there. So here it is. Usually, I will do more to the background, I added a wonderful new leaves stamp that I have, just shadowy. I may add more later but I really like the softness. Sometimes I'll write on the background, either from my head or perhaps a poem or other sentiment. It's waiting for that. I did write on the back of the page, and that might be all I do since I sharpie ghosted in the first place. 

Meantime it's going in my art journal notebook with my other pages, waiting to see if I ever want to put any more on it. It IS making me want a lilac bush or two, and maybe a birdhouse in the back yard, since our kitty is now a totally indoor kitty. Although there is another kitty that comes over sometimes and digs in the yard. That kitty left me a headless mouse body one morning. Wasn't that nice??

 

art journaling

It is interesting when people start talking about art journaling, because I don't know what "qualifies" as art journaling. For me, it is whenever I am expressing something with my art, and usually it has not started with a specific idea but just develops as I go. Some things I consider art journaling when maybe someone else might not. Sometimes it's just whatever and I call it art journaling because it's therapeutic. Who knows. Funny, you can do the same thing on a canvas, so is it painting or art journaling?  I'm not an "artist" I am a crafter who loves paint. I haven't taken an art class for 50 years or so. I do watch videos and follow tutorials sometimes. But I don't have to be an artist to love painting and stamping and stenciling and whatever else I do.

A few pages I've been doing. I will get back to doing Cat Hand's motivations when she gets going. I got the cover done for my Book of Color but I still keep adding to it! When I think it is ALL THE WAY DONE I will post the picture.

Many times a page is expressing something, sometimes it is just a combination of things. This has a lot of bubble wrap painting on it, and those particular words were just in my head at the time. It seems like a mishmash of stuff but I love how they all combine and are pleasing, at least to MY eyes; which is the whole point, because if no one else in the whole world likes it, it is still my expression. I could always add to this if I wanted. There are no "rules" for this stuff. 

Sometimes I do pages when I am feeling "not enough" or unbrave or when I feel like giving up. I enjoy splashing paint around. And this is a stamp set that I got, I don't remember where, but it is an encouragement one, so I encouraged myself. 

I have also done cards with this set, it is a good one.

This one is done with a stencil from Carolyn Dube and Stencil Girl. It just caught my eye and I loved the freedom expressed in it. More bubble wrap, and stencils, and the underneath was sharpie ghosting. 

So there you are. I've been doing a lot of painting lately, like trying to keep my mind off of everything else. 

punching ball

Some days I get gut punched more than once. Found out one of my cousins has COVID and is in the ICU in one of the hardest hit places in the country. I have no doubt he's alone. His sister is on hospice in a nursing facility with dementia. 

One of my coping mechanisms is this.

It is called Sharpie Ghosting. I write out all my fears and frustrations with different colored sharpies and go several different directions. It doesn't matter that it can't be read, in fact, it is not meant to be read. When you are done, coat it with gesso. Some of the color bleeds through, leaving a shadowy background.

I could leave it here, and use it for a collage background or whatever. But I felt like doing a bit of ink blending, and although it's not perfect ink blending it was satisfying. I don't like the results, however, so I'll do another layer on top of it.

First before I do another layer, I'm going to just spritz it, with a bit of water, and with a bit of purple ink.

It's going to be a good background for something or other. For now, I will let it dry, and put it in the pile of backgrounds that I already have. It might end up a base for gelli printing, or stenciling, or maybe that thermofax screen I've been wanting to use. Or I could even put another layer of gesso on it and start over. But all those sad and frustrated and angry thoughts are all down and out. That's what I love about art journaling in general, and about sharpie ghosting in particular. I don't really want to keep those thoughts. So I write them all out, and as I coat it with gesso, I pray. Then as I am creating new out of the old, it helps let go of all that stuff and see some things differently, and more hopefully. I am reminded that God takes whatever life dishes out and eventually brings us to some kind of peace. These days it's super tough. But I can take one day at a time. We will see where it goes from here. White spatters always help, and stenciling, and maybe some cute little birds. Who knows. It will turn in to something beautiful, eventually, and so will I. Below: a few details from the fully dry piece. I wish it photographed well. It produces such intricate details when spritzed with water. I love it dry. Still don't have plans for it.

giving thanks through my tears

The last few days have been so hard. My heart is heavy with what is going on in our country, our world. Our leader is encouraging violence, wanting to overthrow the election... it is surreal. 

But I'm trying to be thankful anyway. I was being thankful that so few died in the riot, but just now found out another has died of his injuries. And that there are many still in the hospital.

Back to thankful. I'm just looking around for thankful. My Christmas tree is still up. I've taken off the ornaments, but the lights are still there, and since my topper died I put up my grandson's star on the top with a light in the middle. That tree is representing light in the dark, hope in the dark. So it's there for a few more days, I think. We will see.

And my rolodex card for the day. A bit of a notepad page, and a couple stickers. Simple but it says what I wanted to say today.

 

reminscing again, finding Ginny dresses, and misc. musings.

Their eyes are so dark I can't seem to get them to show up. The one on the right was mine when I was little, but the wig disintegrated years ago, and she spent long years bald. I finally found a wig that didn't cost an arm an a leg. I couldn't stand to pay $25 for a little dolly wig! Made $5 sound cheap LOL. The dress is one my mom made, it's a girl scout uniform. I found a bit of brown felt, and will make her a little beanie. I don't know if I will make any more dresses for these beauties, they aren't for playing for anymore, even though my Ginny works fine, she's still old. The "newer" Ginny is a bit pigeon toed, her legs don't work right, and her head is a little bit tipped. I think she's still cute. 

She needs some shoes, I think I have some her size but not sure where I put that box. Sigh. I also got teensy gloves for Betsy so her burned hand doesn't show. Everybody's got clothes now, still need to work on panties. 😉

I really like New Ginny's dress. It's from Cindy Rice. 

Did a couple more Rolodex cards today, and emptied a few boxes. I now have this collection of stuff I have no idea what to do with. My parents have escrow records way back from the 60s when they sold their house and bought The Land. I think you are personally supposed to keep them forever, but what about kids?? I don't know. And old keys?? I'd like to come up with something, because otherwise they are just going to landfill.. 

Trying to declutter and downsize, I have let go a few dolls so far, but then I ended up getting another few, but they are tiny ones, 3 of them only 4 inches tall, and so I think that's the way I'm going to go. Maybe to the police department for kids, or the homeless shelter, or something like that. I really was convicted I guess you'd say, thinking of why do I want to just keep stuff in a suitcase forever!! But there are a few dolls I have that are so old I don't think they would be good to play with, like Posey, and the Ginnys and Betsys and Shirley Temple especially. Right now the Ginnys are being displayed on my clean dresser along with the angels. One I got from the funeral home when Mom died and I love it. She has butterfly wings, which is what attracted me. The other was would you believe from Dollar Tree, and I repainted her. She's beautiful. 

I do have a hoarder's mentality. I prefer to think of it as a hunter-gatherer LOL I was reading a thing on personality types earlier. There was a quiz of course and it says I have a "cautious" personality. Yup. One of the things they said was that an advantage to a "cautious" personality, was being prepared. Yes, we already had a toilet paper stash, and a food stash... that's the way I am, from living an hour and a half from town. We had to be prepared, and I never lost that desire. Now I live a mile from a grocery store and I still hoard. LOL not like the folks with piles in their houses, although I have a room like that, like Grandma Butler's Middle Bedroom which was packed full...

And that's where the musings go. 

My beautiful Mary, that I got when I was REALLY small, I don't remember not having her. She still works except for her voice. She's sitting on my mom's treadle sewing machine, that also needs repair. My my my. I will never get everything done, LOL, and that's pretty far down the list. Mary is wearing a baby dress that I altered to more or less fit her. Still needs the sleeves shortened. I do still have her original dress but she looks so good in deep rich colors and not pale yellow. She's not for playing either, so I'm not making more clothes for her. That's a thrift store rescue in the back. She doesn't have a name. She's dressed in a cool newborn animal print outfit with a bright orange jacket. Still needs to be altered. 

It's all fun. I think I'll give away the rescue, when I get her outfit fixed, it will only take a little bit of time. 

I'm getting excited about giving away some dolls. I've been collecting them a long time but I don't  have thousands like That Lady on the Hoarders show. I got quite of few from thrift stores, and they were not in the best condition, and I fixed them up. 

So hopefully no one gets freaked out in my room, I think if someone is going to stay in there, I will hide the girls. 

Enough musing. Thanks for hanging in this far, if you are.

itty bitty art

I really love these Rolodex things. I did some backgrounds awhile ago so on days when I just don't really feel like creating anything there's a tiny project for ten minutes or less, to coax me into the craft room. Today's was a little bit of journaling on it for background texture, if you can read it, it's tiny. It basically says I am dreaming of when this pandemic is done and I can have a cup of tea (or coffee?) and maybe a cupcake with a friend. 

Scrappy mixed media, and more musings.

Did a few Rolodex things. What do I call them, Rolodex pages? They are just teensy, they aren't exactly page size. So I guess they are Rolodex things. LOL

The top left is from a napkin, I love that napkin, and have used it several times. They come with around ten to a package, it would be good to have someone to trade with, The one on the top right I did awhile ago, but today when I was on my walk that little red tree was just sitting there on the ground waiting to be picked up, so I put it on that one. The bottom left is from the bottom of one of those advertising notepads, with some stickers added. More Scrappy Rescue. 

I got all excited today when I saw the 2020 calendar getting tossed. HAD to rescue it, it is full of BIRDS. The bottom right card is from the calendar. I love the birds as well as butterflies, so can always use snippets of the color.

Yes, I know I'm odd. I pick stuff up in the street and raid the garbage....

I remember a boy I liked in high school. He wrote in my yearbook, "Els, you're odd" He called me Els which was short for Linda, which at the time was the world's most common name. Everyone's mom seemed to think that it was unusual. HA. Anyway I was really sad that he just thought of me as odd. I thought since he called me "Els" that was a term of endearment or something. LOL When you are older you just laugh at that stuff. But it's painful at the time. 

I guess the older you get the more often those little memories get triggered. Then I remembered one of my hubby, since I knew him from way back as well. I used to love to take my dog out and we would fly like the wind all over town, she running and I on my roller skates. I usually didn't care who saw me but around that time I had been noticing him more again, and there he was, walking and grinning when he saw me. I was humiliated and went straight home and climbed up on the roof. Little did I know that he was going to walk down THAT side of the street, and see me sitting on the roof. I thought for sure that was the end of hope for any relationship with HIM since I was so embarrassed. But we dated later, but married others, and then what do you know, thirty years go by, and we end up married. And twenty years after that, we are still making each other laugh. You just don't know.