punching ball

Some days I get gut punched more than once. Found out one of my cousins has COVID and is in the ICU in one of the hardest hit places in the country. I have no doubt he's alone. His sister is on hospice in a nursing facility with dementia. 

One of my coping mechanisms is this.

It is called Sharpie Ghosting. I write out all my fears and frustrations with different colored sharpies and go several different directions. It doesn't matter that it can't be read, in fact, it is not meant to be read. When you are done, coat it with gesso. Some of the color bleeds through, leaving a shadowy background.

I could leave it here, and use it for a collage background or whatever. But I felt like doing a bit of ink blending, and although it's not perfect ink blending it was satisfying. I don't like the results, however, so I'll do another layer on top of it.

First before I do another layer, I'm going to just spritz it, with a bit of water, and with a bit of purple ink.

It's going to be a good background for something or other. For now, I will let it dry, and put it in the pile of backgrounds that I already have. It might end up a base for gelli printing, or stenciling, or maybe that thermofax screen I've been wanting to use. Or I could even put another layer of gesso on it and start over. But all those sad and frustrated and angry thoughts are all down and out. That's what I love about art journaling in general, and about sharpie ghosting in particular. I don't really want to keep those thoughts. So I write them all out, and as I coat it with gesso, I pray. Then as I am creating new out of the old, it helps let go of all that stuff and see some things differently, and more hopefully. I am reminded that God takes whatever life dishes out and eventually brings us to some kind of peace. These days it's super tough. But I can take one day at a time. We will see where it goes from here. White spatters always help, and stenciling, and maybe some cute little birds. Who knows. It will turn in to something beautiful, eventually, and so will I. Below: a few details from the fully dry piece. I wish it photographed well. It produces such intricate details when spritzed with water. I love it dry. Still don't have plans for it.