bereft...

MAY 31, 2012

 

is how I am feeling. Wish I understood why. Partly because I went to visit Evelyn and everything is crazy there. Her clothes are scattered around, I sat on a banana that she hid in the chair. Now that made me laugh. How can I stay feeling bereft when I am laughing?

                thankful for laughter in the middle of bereft.

                thankful for the visit today with friends and family

                thankful for the laughter with my grandson

                thankful for the fan that is bringing in cooler air tonight

                thankful for the bed that I will go fall into pretty soon…

personal dementia...

MAY 29, 2012

 

I am feeling like I have dementia myself. I guess you get that when you care for one with dementia. The last week has been really stressful. I tell myself, one day at a time. Today E. tried to escape from the facility we had to place her in last week. She got all the way to a gate, but lost her balance and fell in the mud. Good thing she didn’t get out to the street… I think if I was put in such a place I would react similarly. Praying for her, that she could adjust… the other day she cut up her dress and my poor brain has been trying ever since to make sense out of it. Not happening. Won’t happen. Getting my brain to stop trying is a different matter. I keep finding myself thinking of it.

Add insomnia to the mix. I think I am pushing myself to stay awake. I don’t understand that either. 🙂