Sunday, March 8, 2015

writing.... and writing and writing.

 
 
I always have this obsession to write. I found a book, Write to Discover Yourself by Ruth Vaughn. I just barely started reading it, and it immediately overwhelmed me. But I can’t stay away.

I have filled notebook after notebook with my thoughts and dreams. Last summer, I destroyed most of them, thinking, I don’t want anyone else reading that stuff. And yet, off and on I write here, where anyone in the world might stumble on it!

So I am starting again, filling notebook after notebook. Maybe more here, maybe not.

My grandpa wrote a lot. My mom didn’t catch that, but I sure did. I still have a notebook of his writings, maybe someday one of us will get stuff published somehow. Never had that desire for my own stuff.
This is a collection of snippets from another blog that I had. These are about the journey of watching your parents get older. 


MARCH 8, 2015
 
The last entry about my mother in law was awhile ago. I think it just became so painful I couldn’t write. It is no longer funny when you go to see her and she is going around and around in her wheelchair counting the times she puts her hand on the railing, and not even counting in order. It is no longer funny when you go see her and she doesn’t know anything but that she is in intense pain. It isn’t funny when you see a caregiver treat her in an uncaring manner; and when you understand the caregiver’s attitude since she has also tried to bite you.

She died almost a year ago. It was a sad blessing. My mother in law was in and out of the hospital. So was my dad. But the day came when both she and my dad went in the same day. I went one way and K the other. My father had fallen and broken his shoulder in three places, my mother in law had cellulitus and a UTI. My father’s brain was bleeding; my mother in law got c. diff. infection. I didn’t know if either of them would survive.

They both survived that crisis; but my mother in law died a week later. She was 98. She couldn’t see, hear, eat…. so yes it was a blessing. But I loved her very much and miss her every day.

My father also survived. Now, however, he may have entered the world of dementia. Strange how there are similar roads, yet different. I don't see much of anything at this point, but they did a screening, and apparently it showed "cognitive decline"

This time I know way more. I know the deep heartbreak ahead of time. But I also know how to talk to him. I know how to climb into his world.

I am thankful I have had my parents so long. I know I don’t get to keep them forever. Sometimes I can see ahead, and know where my dad is going… and rejoice. Right now it’s hard to watch the downhill journey..








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Saturday, February 21, 2015

Knitting Challenge

see it sparkle? It is really pretty.
Finished my short-row shawlette. I've been trying to challenge myself a bit; this one is designed by Lorna Miser and it said "beginner" and it was, once I got over being intimidated by A Pattern. I love the way it came out. I used Caron Simply Soft Party yarn which has a bit of a sparkle in it. I normally don't use anything but Red Heart (blush!!)  but Lorna gave me a bag of stuff and this was in it. I am really going to enjoy this. Now we need some cold weather so I can use it. Thank you, Lorna, for the yarn, and for the encouragement.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Life as Told by Recipes...

Going through my mother in law's recipe file boxes. Yes, boxes! I realized as I was looking that this is a little piece of her life. She always said she wasn't a good cook even though she made DELICIOUS food! The reason, she said, was she always used other people's recipes. Who doesn't?  I never considered myself a good cook, and the reason was I don't follow recipes well! She was a wonderful cook, and always had the best collection of cookies for her neighbors, grandchildren, great grandchildren-- and whoever stopped by was asked if they would like some cookies and tea, coffee, or milk. Or fruit or vegetables, but that's another story.

She was blessed with friends. Her box has recipes from Audrey, Joy, Aunt Oletha, Violet, Fran. Some are in their own handwriting, or typed on an old typewriter. Little pieces of friendships that spanned decades. She lived in the same house for more than sixty years. Some of those friends were also friends of my mother's, some became friends of mine. I also heard the old stories of the Times Gone By. When my mother in law slipped into dementia, those friends became more real to her, and she talked of them often. I even became "Audrey" one day when she thought I was her. The present faded away, but the past stayed.

Those friends are gone now, and so is my mother in law. What a treasure of friendship they had! I can't help but imagine a Heavenly place, where I can see them sitting around the kitchen table, sharing life, swapping recipes. And maybe some of that wonderful zucchini bread.


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Friday, December 26, 2014

Learning things you never thought would happen...

Learned something  today. The older American Girl dolls are chubbier than the newer ones. So.... no wonder I had trouble getting the jeans to fit. Now I have to find out what doll Kaleigh has. And if I am going to continue to sew for American Girls, should I get another? I of course don't want to spend $$ on one. So if Goodwill gets one in, I'm ready. LOL

I'm a bid sad about that. The originals were shaped like real girls are shaped. I haven't seen a new one to compare, but it is sad that they thought they better skinny them up. Mine is getting loose jointed so may end up going to a doll hospital.

I actually bought a pattern online today. Mostly I have made do with the free ones. Now I find out (because it is a good pattern and says that it is made for the newer dolls) that my poor girl is chubby. I don't think it will make much difference.

The pattern I got was from craftsy. The Juliette Dress

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Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Kaleigh

Working on some American Girl Doll clothes for Kaleigh. I don't have a grand daughter of my own yet, so Suzie graciously offered to loan me her daughter! Since I've been sick I haven't done much, but I did finish a scarf and hat set while traveling to Disneyland. Here's my Molly modeling them.



I did not plan the way the variegated yarn striped. I LOVE it but probably could never duplicate it! I still have a bit of that yarn so might try again. The hat could stand to be a few stitches larger but I think it's really cute.

Kaleigh isn't getting her package until after Christmas unfortunately since that's in two days. I hope to have a few things done tonight.

Christmas Day.... turned out to kind of be wacky, because Kerry is still sick. We went to Jay's but only stayed an hour or so before coming home so he could go to bed. Which left me alone for the evening, again. Sigh. HOWEVER.... finished the jeans, cut out the vest. I love the detail on the jeans. Yes the stitching isn't perfect. Yours wouldn't be either if you were making a less-than-two-inch pocket.

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Saturday, November 8, 2014

midnight musings

playing with snowflakes in the night. There's a cool snowflake maker on theproblemsite.com  which is a cool site with lots of educational games.





I need to be asleep but sometimes I just need to do something to quiet my mind. These are interesting to do for a bit of distraction. I've been pretty distracted lately and not in a good way. Maybe tomorrow I can sew. That would help. Tonight, the snowflakes helped.


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About Me

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just a crafty grandma experimenting with all sorts of things. My main interests are paper craft of any kind and quilting/sewing. But I've done leatherwork, polymer clay, on-the-wheel pottery, painted molded ceramics, papier mache, stained glass, plaster casting, linoleum printing, paper making... you name it, I've probably tried it. A few I actually stuck with. :)