rejoicing in trials…
I am sure I don’t understand why most of the time, why we are to rejoice in our trials. Our trials make us look to Jesus, that’s one reason. But why a musician should get arthritis is a hard one to be thankful for, and E’s dementia. Well, because of the episodes, K is finally convinced (I think) that it is time to put E somewhere she can be safe… I feel tremendously guilty that I can’t seem to deal with it… but the other night she was violent and attacking the caregiver, so we have to figure out how to manage it, at the very least. Be thankful? Lord I believe, help my unbelief, I will be thankful for whatever you bring my way, and do that in faith and not by sight. I can’t see. Such as where is my sewing machine cord… can’t sew without it, E’s machine is not functioning well. Be thankful? I am seeing that being thankful is not the same as figuring out why I should be. I have to be thankful NO MATTER WHAT. I go back yet again to the Holocaust. Living in a flea and louse infested place with very little to wear and a lot of hard work and maybe die there…. thankful? And yet.
Quotes from Corrie ten boom, a holocaust survivor…
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
“If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. If you look at God you’ll be at rest.”
“Happiness isn’t something that depends on our surroundings…It’s something we make inside ourselves.”
“Trying to do the Lord’s work in your own strength is the most confusing, exhausting, and tedious of all work. But when you are filled with the Holy Spirit, then the ministry of Jesus just flows out of you.”
“Don’t bother to give God instructions; just report for duty.”
“You can never learn that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.”
“If God has shown us bad times ahead, it’s enough for me that He knows about them. That’s why He sometimes shows us things, you know – to tell us that this too is in His hands.”
“And our wise Father in heaven knows when we’re going to need things too. Don’t run out ahead of Him.”
“There is no pit so deep, that God’s love is not deeper still.”
And so.
Thankful for this stuffy nose, sneezing, and pounding head
thankful for the rain today
the snow peas I ate while I harvested… and that I got more than I ate into the house
there are still 6 more hills of potatoes
that I have friends who pray for me.
that E has a dr appointment tomorrow and we will make some progress finding E a permanent home…. bittersweet
that she has the money to do it
that I am making progress in the middle bedroom
that I have a wonderful bed to sleep in
thankful that I can be thankful for things more than one time… and thankful for the challenge that started this journey to having a thankful attitude… and thankful for the work that the Lord has done in my heart through this challenge.
So I am not exactly happy that I have this allergy/cold and that my fingers are getting more arthritic BUT I am thankful for whatever God is going to teach me through these trials. And I am not happy about the journey E is currently on, but I am thankful for the resources to help us.
Thank you Lord for birds that sing (even in the night)
Thank you Lord for everything.
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